The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/12/07
Nice story, and well written. The dialogue lost me a time or two, but I like the story.
04/12/07
Now, this is the sort of mystery story that I thoroughly relish. Great writing, I'd like to read more.
04/12/07
Nice scenery description and characters with the "foolery I'm getting old" line. This was a great mystery with a nice ending!
04/14/07
This just has the "feel" of a good old-fashioned mystery story. Great job with the dialog. Could maybe do a bit of work on the punctuation, but a good read. Loved the opening line.
04/15/07
This story has a really nice flow to it - easy to read. There are a couple of spots where your tense changes and I believe you meant "coroner" instead of "corner". But overall, this was a great mystery story. Good job!
04/15/07
I *love* a story with an animal hero. This was a good read.
04/16/07
Oh, what a wonderful story! You grabbed my attention from the beginning ... I wasn't sure where you were taking us but the ending was perfect! What an imagination you have, my friend! Awesome ... it's really my kind of reading where there's emotion, tragedy, and a hero that happens to be an endearing dog-friend. Well done! :)
04/16/07
Nice story. Good writing. Happy ending. What else is there to say?
04/16/07
A great mystery story with a rescue, a foggy cove, and a wonderful dog; I don't believe you were talking about a "corner"...but we'll let that slide since it was a very creative and exciting story -and I'd hate to spoil it.
04/17/07
Great first paragraph, really hooked me. I really enjoyed the unfolding of the story, too. The very end seemed to switch gears in an effort to tie up all the loose ends...easily correctable. Great atmosphere and suspense.
04/17/07
I loved your story. The little boys were "real," and the reunion of the woman with her "baby" was special.
04/17/07
Enjoyed the read and the anticipation of the outcome. I like your caring characters, too!
04/18/07
Nice story! Lots of characters. I'm glad the coroner wasn't needed, I love happy endings! :o) The style reminded me of reading Jeanette Oke books. A sweet, gentle unfolding style. Good job!
04/18/07
Great characterization and detail - I was definitely grabbed! Some grammar/editing stuff, but it didn't deter from the intrigue.
04/18/07
This was a foggy case! (In setting!) The mystery was crystal clear and very much enjoyed by this reader. You tricked me with Lady being the 'baby' though. Nice trick-and good writing! ^_^
04/18/07
I liked the relaxed character of the sheriff. A very believable story and a happy ending. Nice job
04/18/07
This story had a real 'crime scene' feeling to it. You set the scene so well I got chills thinking of the fog over the cove.

Watch your verb tenses carefully. The first paragraph was in past tense, the second in present, then you switched to past. It got a little confusing.

At first, I thought the sheriff was going to find the kids were playing a prank. A really good story about a 'mystery' woman and a spooky night.
04/18/07
Very nicely done - I liked the ending :)
04/18/07
I loved the development of your characters, especially Willard. And I like the description in the first paragraph, of the eerie feeling grabbing hold and not letting go. Nice.

Your dialogue is great, but I think I would like to see a little bit more of a balance between dialogue and description, especially since you also do a good job with the description.

Also, as has been suggested, watch to keep your story in one tense, past or present. One is not necessarily better than the other, but it needs to be uniform to avoid confusion.

Good work,
Cheri
04/18/07
Delightful ending. (I'm a sucker for dogs.) The journey was good to. Well done.
04/18/07
Great job creating the suspense and with the characters. Made me miss living in a small town where everyone knew everyone else and their vehicle.
04/19/07
Nice work, you kept me in suspense and I was glad for a happy ending.
04/19/07
Congrats on your highly commended! ^_^
04/20/07
Congratulations, Friend, on your placing! I suspected you had a winner, here. I also want to thank you. I spotted your recommendation to readers on the message boards to read my mystery entry (a "multi-faceted gem" I think is what you called it). What a buddy you are---and I wouldn't have even known you did it, except I went to look for the lists of top placers. You are the real gem, Rita!