The Official Writing Challenge
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My curiosity is piqued. I want to know more. The story was a little hard to follow, because it seemed to jump around too much.
Good job. I want to know what happened. The word limit is a killer!
I loved the names and how well you developed the characters in such a short time. I wanted more too, but you sure packed a great mystery in the limit.
Some great lines in here, like "Betty booped around". Word count may have gotten you, tho. What did he see that he scribbled in his book? And where is chapter 2 to this story? I want to know more! ok, may be word count got ME! :) Good set-up, and nice job with the topic!
Very good "whodonit" here. But it seemed unfinished.