The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1218 times
Member Comments
I like the idea here. You touched my heart with this child. I would have liked to see the story a little tighter and a little more suspense.

Good job on the genre.
Good job setting the atmosphere. I really liked Alex how you made him come alive. I felt I knew him better than the MC - maybe you could have developed her character in the way you did his. A very well-constructed mystery, with a satisfying conclusion. I enjoyed it!
Great title and a really nicely done story. Good mystery and ending, wished we could do sequels so I could learn what happens to the boy and why was he beaten!
What a "Nancy Drew" here--with a modern touch. It's a shame to think that abuse is a modern touch. a symbol of this day in which we're living. Very good writing here.
I love the sweet nature of your protagonist. A missing comma in the first sentence makes it seem as if the eggs are fighting back tears...your amateur sleuth did a great job of putting together clues and being God's hands and feet. Nicely done!
Very touching story. Would have liked to see more clues before we knew the mystery was solved.
Sweet, yet sad story. I loved your characters. The poor kid, I'm glad you rescued him! :o) Glad he wasn't alone anymore. Reminds me of us, when we wallow in our pain, self-pity, darkness--God rescues us and makes everything better!
Nice mystery here. Glad it had a happy ending and some very good sleuths to ferret out the really mystery behind the missing items. I'm so glad the boy was okay too.
Great characterization. Would love to see this expanded (dontcha hate the word limit - especially on mysteries??). Good suspense.
Touching! Love the characterization of the children! And the ending perfect! Fantastic writing!
I enjoyed the characters and the plot line Immensely. One technical note remembered from my law school days: a robbery takes place in the immediate presence of the victim. A burglary will take place in their absence.
Nice job of writing!
I liked your mystery very much. Isn't it interesting that you got the brother and sister to cooperate! You did a good job of creating sympathy for the mistreated child.
Good suspense and I really "felt" the mystery unraveling. Nicely done.