The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
04/13/07
A very sweet story, would make a nice Sunday School paper.
04/13/07
I like that you left the reader to decide whether the little boy was a thief or not. This would make a good story for a Sunday School class - let the class discuss the issues and come up with a Biblical solution. My favourite line? "the hours dragged like cold pancake syrup."
04/14/07
Loved the Mystery part of this story. Very good. I wouldn't mention the little errors if this were in beginners...but because it's advanced, I figure you'd like to know. Doesn't take away from the Mystery aspect...but helps the writer to progress up the ladder to success.
04/14/07
Aw, what a sweet story. A careful proofread would have caught some minor typo's, but the writing was great! Love the ending.
04/15/07
Lovely story. Also enjoyed the cold syrup line.
04/15/07
I liked the way the pastor coupled finding the doll with learning about giving. The solution didn't suprise me as much as the detective work created by the pastor.
04/17/07
Cute story! Jerry was quite the brother to think of something for his little sister! I think there was a typo in the third to last(?) sentence. Very good story!
04/17/07
A mystery tied up with a wonderful message of love! Great story!!
04/17/07
Minor errors but I just loved the story nonetheless. Very touching, sweet and yes, that pancake line was sweet!