The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/07
This was a well structured piece, and had me on the edge of my seat, waiting to see who was watching. Just a few punctuation errors e.g. commas instead of full stops. Also rather than using speech marks for thoughts, try italics, or in this case, it would have read fine as:

Was that someone calling?Had they spoken her name?

We would know that these were her thoughts. Apart from this, I enjoyed reading your work, and you certainly know how to build up suspense!

04/12/07
Great story, love the creative ending!
04/13/07
THAT was a surprise! Nice work.
04/14/07
What can I say? It was scary. It was mysterious. It was a page turner...and I couldn't wait to find out what happened; very, very neat job of Mystery. I also liked the brevity of it. Thanks for the light hearted mystery. Enjoyed the goose bumps.
Cute. You made it real. I almost fainted with her.
04/17/07
Oooh! Spooky surprise! I like the ending and I think I would have fainted too if I'd just been scared out of my wits by my 'imagination'. Good mystery!
04/17/07
What great suspense! This was a fun read, nicely written.
04/18/07
Good job with the suspense - I was definitely scared right along with her. Loved your twist too!