The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/15/07
I really enjoyed this story! Wonderful dialogue--it really brought all the characters to life! I could just hear the teacher's frustration and bafflement, and I could appreciate the wise parents who proved able to set her straight. Glad to know she "got" it in the end. Great message here about understanding kids!

There were a number of places in the dialogue that needed commas but didn't have them...also places with periods where commas should have been, especially after "said."

Great title--it sparked my curiosity, and I loved the clever wordplay on the meaning of "Off Beat"!

I also enjoyed the other surprise of her turning into the narrator's "Aunt Colleen"!
03/16/07
I loved this. I had an experience similar when I worked (for a week) at a bank and the manager made fun of me in front of everyone for being slow. I discreetly had nearly the same conversation with her and it was a very touching experience. You put me right there, and the parents exuded grace. This was sweet, and I loved the end too!
03/16/07
Very nucely done & with a sweet ending.
Your story was good, teaching some excellent lessons we all need to learn. I like the way the teacher learned something as well. But I was distracted by your failure to include commas where they belong. The commas are important because they make for easier understanding of the sentences. Once the story is written, it helps to do a special check for punctuation and spelling errors.
03/17/07
I liked this and I'm glad that your aunt got it!
Good story. Very good pov here.
03/21/07
Awww! What a great story. I liked how the parents stood up for Timmy and how they managed to bring Miss Kelly around to see a bit of life from a different POV. The ending was the best though. Great job! ^_^