The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/15/07
I was so relieved at the twist in this.
What a wonderful story! I went from tears to laughter in a hurry!
03/17/07
Fantastic story. I, too, was relieved that it was only a dream. Terrific story. Terrific writing.
I especially like how you used Little Boy Blue , and how the meaning of the rhyme fit the story. Great job.
The figurative language was superb! "fear danced with dread", "wisp of a butterfly's wings" and so many more metaphors and personification. They didn't seem forced to my ear and the story flowed on. This was especially tender to me.
As usual, a master's work!
03/18/07
This is excellent! I loved the ending and the realistic depiction of the dad in this story. Very well written
Interesting. How often we would all love for bad things in life to be a horrible dream. I'm glad it worked out here. Such a sad beginning, but the words pictured it perfectly. I could feel the grief.
This story brought tears to my eyes. How amazing it is to love children we haven't even seen! I'm happy for the ending - but even more, I was pleased to see the love in a father for his unborn son.
In a very real, but emotional sense, men have babies, too. Enjoyed the meaningful tie-back to the child's name and esp. liked the line "Bonnie's moaning commanded the gas pedal"

03/22/07
Suspenseful, excellently told story! I love the ending! :)
03/26/07
Marilee,
Great ending, super reader involvement. Definite Level Four material. Keep up the good work. God bless.