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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)

TITLE: Coinless Shopping
By Sue Dent
03/07/07


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Coinless Shopping

I’m off to do my shopping
No coin do I possess
For what I plan to purchase
I’ll get when I confess

No crime has been committed
No guilt doth riddle me
And everything I want and need
Is absolutely free.

You do not have to buy one now
To get the other free
You do not have to purchase two
In hopes of getting three.

The one you see is not the last
It’s not one of a kind
It’s meant for everyone to have
Without waiting in line!

It will not break nor will it shrink
Nor will it fade away
It fits you just the same right now
As is it did yesterday.

To return it would be foolish
Who would want to give it back?
A purchase that makes up for
everything you lack.

One size fits all Spring, Summer Fall
And yes in Winter too.
There isn’t any season
Where this purchase wouldn’t do.

And yes, you guessed it, genderless
You can share it with your spouse
And shop at home, without your phone
You’ll never leave your house.

“But where you,” you say, “should I pay?
It’s too good to be true.”
The price is free, just as I said,
He gave His life for you.


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This article has been read 744 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Rita Garcia03/10/07
Wow! The flow is perfect and the message gains momentum with each line, leading to a culmination that made my spirit soar.
Jacquelyn Horne03/12/07
Wonderful poem. One thing stood out to me (and the meter is correct here, I guess it's just me). The line "Without waiting in line!" would fit better (to me) if it said "Without the wait in line!" Now this is just ME. The meter works like it is. Wonderful poem in all.
Jan Ackerson 03/12/07
Awesome poem, and you're right, it does have a Suessical quality about it--which is a very good thing. The lilt of the poetry fits the mood perfectly.
Allison Egley 03/12/07
Oh, such a creative take on the topic! I loved it. What a great reminder of the wonderful gift we have in Christ!
Cassie Memmer03/13/07
This is cute as it casn be! I'm sure kids would love it too. Great message presented in a super fun way!
Joanne Sher 03/13/07
Very creative! Your meter is wonderful, and this is so engaging! Great stuff, Sue!
TJ Nickel03/13/07
This:
"You do not have to buy one now
To get the other free
You do not have to purchase two
In hopes of getting three."
Was Suess-ish and so fun, at just the right moment, that it propelled the poem for me.
Nice!
Sara Harricharan 03/13/07
This is the very best kind of 'shopping'. Easy to read and with a good rhyme, I liked how you described all the different merits. Very well done! ^_^
Myrna Noyes03/13/07
Loved it! Great poem, wonderful message! :)
Bonnie Way03/13/07
Lovely poem! I liked how quickly it moved and all the little truths of shopping - "don't have to buy one to get one free!" Great little punch line at the end. Good job!
Tiffany Secula03/14/07
So Wonderful!! I loved the last stanza!
Loren T. Lowery03/14/07
I always seem to stumble over trying to understand poems, but this one came easily for me. So, for me, it was a great read.
Joanne Malley03/14/07
Great job on this, Sue! Loved its message as well. Blessings, Jo
T. F. Chezum03/14/07
Good flow and rhyme scheme. I enjoyed this a lot.
Julie Arduini03/15/07
Great flow and message. Was it as fun to write as it was to read? I really enjoyed this!