The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/10/07
Wow! The flow is perfect and the message gains momentum with each line, leading to a culmination that made my spirit soar.
Wonderful poem. One thing stood out to me (and the meter is correct here, I guess it's just me). The line "Without waiting in line!" would fit better (to me) if it said "Without the wait in line!" Now this is just ME. The meter works like it is. Wonderful poem in all.
03/12/07
Awesome poem, and you're right, it does have a Suessical quality about it--which is a very good thing. The lilt of the poetry fits the mood perfectly.
03/12/07
Oh, such a creative take on the topic! I loved it. What a great reminder of the wonderful gift we have in Christ!
03/13/07
This is cute as it casn be! I'm sure kids would love it too. Great message presented in a super fun way!
03/13/07
Very creative! Your meter is wonderful, and this is so engaging! Great stuff, Sue!
03/13/07
This:
"You do not have to buy one now
To get the other free
You do not have to purchase two
In hopes of getting three."
Was Suess-ish and so fun, at just the right moment, that it propelled the poem for me.
Nice!
03/13/07
This is the very best kind of 'shopping'. Easy to read and with a good rhyme, I liked how you described all the different merits. Very well done! ^_^
03/13/07
Loved it! Great poem, wonderful message! :)
03/13/07
Lovely poem! I liked how quickly it moved and all the little truths of shopping - "don't have to buy one to get one free!" Great little punch line at the end. Good job!
So Wonderful!! I loved the last stanza!
I always seem to stumble over trying to understand poems, but this one came easily for me. So, for me, it was a great read.
03/14/07
Great job on this, Sue! Loved its message as well. Blessings, Jo
Good flow and rhyme scheme. I enjoyed this a lot.
03/15/07
Great flow and message. Was it as fun to write as it was to read? I really enjoyed this!