The Official Writing Challenge
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03/10/07
Is it Moose Munch? They have that at Harry and David's and it is SOOO good! This story was well done. As a girl who was married when I was 22, i know the feeling of being left behind by friends. As in this story, it just shows you who your real friends are. This was very true to life. Nice job!
03/11/07
Interesting story of four friends shopping; however, I must be dense as I didn't get the point or the message. It was on topic however, and an enjoyable read. Good job.
You captured the character of these girls well. Perhaps the point was to do the right thing, and not cave into peer pressure? Not sure, but your MC did the right thing, anyway. This was well written and enjoyable. Kudos.
Disturbing, but all too true, story here. Glad that Joan could not be "suckered in" to the other girls' way of thinking. Good writing.
03/13/07
I love the interaction between the characters. You held my attention with the up and downs of friendship and shopping weaved throughout, what a great mix.
03/13/07
You did a good job of capturing the voices of young girls. A couple of phrases I thought were really cute: “For a math geek-she loves to shop.” “Instant cuteness.” One suggestion would be to eliminate some of your short sentences describing the character’s action, especially when the dialogue expresses the emotion. I was also glad to see that Joan did the right thing.
03/13/07
Great story. I loved the interactions between the friends, the way you captured their characters, and how Joan did the right thing.
03/13/07
I thought this captured the conflict well. I enjoyed the cute phrases too. Shopping bounty was cute. I married someone ten years older, hmmm, were my friends like that and I didn't know? This would be great in a girls' magazine!
03/13/07
Very enjoyable read. I have a daughter about this age, and she's realizing that true friends and false friends are STILL sometimes hard to spot at first. She thought all that ended in jr. high. Good job with the dialogue between the girls, too.
Realistic setting enhanced with some great dialogue. And, I think, the "chance" meeeting was not really chance at all. Good job.
03/14/07
Good job!! The dialog was great and I could picture and hear the girls hissing...Glad the friends had eachother!! =)
03/14/07
Good job of breaking through stereotypes. Not all math 'geeks' are fashion-consciousless. Good message about not isolating others who have done something different (marrying a much older guy.) I would say, despite Joan's shopaholic tendencies, and Gina are much more mature than Stacy and Lena.

I do think that with four characters in the space of 750 words, you can not help the reader to 'see' any of them in any great depth. (Something David Ian commented on one of my articles a long time ago.) I was a little lost in the beginning figuring out who was who.

Overall, good message and dialogue between characters. Thanks for sharing.
03/14/07
The dialogue felt so right and realistic! Definitely reminded me of what "friends" can be like, too! Great read.
Hi, I thought I had read yours! I'm glad I found it. The charcters were real and their dialogue was very much in the "now". It is hard to develop charcters as much as everyone would like to see within the word limit. I feel bad about this in my own entires, but don't know what to do about it! I thought you did a great job with it for as many charcters as you had. I picked up the line about how Gina was not liked because of her "religion" as well as her marital status. I got the feeling, the "being married part" was just an excuse for the 2 friend's avoidance of her. It's real, it's what we as Christians face evryday, isn't it?
03/14/07
I really enjoyed reading this, and was so cheered by Joan's strength of character and friendliness! I get so irritated when people reject others for such ridiculous reasons! I didn't like Joan's shopping friends at all, but I would love to know both Joan and Gina! (I'd fit in with them, because I love chocolate!) Very well-done and realistic story! :)
Well written story with good character interaction. Good job.