The Official Writing Challenge
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I was so afraid for the your charcters! I'm glad the man was the pastor and not some convict! I liked the tale told in the voice of the little girl. It added a different touch than had it been told by the mother or another adult. Nice imagery with the squares and the fear through the mother's hands.
03/14/07
Though suspenseful and ezxciting, I was a bit perturbed that a pastor would scare his 'sheep' like that! Grrr! Let me at him! LOL! Nice writing though and clever.
03/14/07
Cute! I really thought they were about to get mugged. Great suspense and surprise woven in there! I like Ken's Version of 'shopping', very fun to read! ^_^
You did a great ob communicating from the little girl's perspective - enjoyed it and kept me to the end
thanks
03/14/07
Your first paragraph is a wonderful hook, with some amazing phrases--and the rest of the piece lived up to it.
03/14/07
Where's the blood pressure medication? You really had my heart racing! I thought this was a great story, good concept! Keep up the good work.
03/14/07
Clever take on the topic. You definitely had me shaking in my shoes until I figured out what was going on! Could be me, but the thoughts, etc. seemed a bit too advanced for a 6-year-old. Loved the story, though!
03/14/07
You had me right there the whole time. I love how you brought the squares in throughout. Great point. I really like this one.
03/15/07
Certainly a suspenseful story, but I was concerned about the pastor's methods of evangelism. Maybe I'm old-fashioned (Okay, definitely, I am! :) ), but it seemed a bit deceptive and "dark" to me for someone who is supposed to be reflecting the light of Christ to the world. However, it was well-written, and I liked seeing things from the girl's point of view.
03/15/07
My goodness I'm a wreck! You are a master in suspense! I thought this flowed great with strong characters. That's some pastor!