The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/10/07
I felt the mounting panic. What mother hasn't been there? The dialog was real and gave a feeling of panic. It moved so quickly that it added to the "emergency." I enjoyed the surprise ending, too.
Whew! The relief when the daughter was found was real!
You did a great job of carrying this reader to the end with emotions fitting the story. The end was great, I didn't see it coming. I'm learning so much from you Masters!
03/11/07
Hmmmmmm! An angel named Tess! It reminds me of the old TV show "Touched by an Angel"! :)
Great story, kept us parents on our edge of our seat until the last passage. Wow! I really like this and had my suspicions about Tess. Yay,I was right.:0) God bless your talent hon. Keep it up.
03/12/07
Great job with the tension and suspense, and the subtle undertone of unease in the relationship between the husband and wife.

I wonder if this would have even more impact if Tess were a human rather than an angel. Perhaps just a personal preference with me, but I think then the lesson would be that WE can be God's eyes, hands, mouth, etc.

Your characters well very well-drawn, great dialog, really nicely written story.
03/12/07
Suspenseful writing! Loved the unexpected ending. Great job. :) Jo
03/12/07
I was holding my breathe until Megan was found, great writing and I love the ending! This is why you are in Masters!
Well written. I was able to follow it all the way through. Children can give you a scare, but God is always on our side.
03/12/07
Oh, the end gave me the chills! This was very good. You captured the interaction between the mom and dad well.
03/13/07
Excellent characterization on every character - and the suspense was absolutely palpable. Excellent!
03/13/07
Nice conflict throughout, even the minor conflict between parents was quick and effectively inserted.
03/13/07
Nice twist at the end with Tess. It was slightly confusing when Sandy and the blonde lady were talking at the rack, I wasn't sure which one was talking about the cut of the dress. Pretty good reading though, you did a good job with building the suspense. ^_^
Good story--plotted well! I enjoyed it.
WOW! Had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. And the last line is priceless!!!
I loved it!
03/14/07
As a mother it’s always hard to hear these stories, so I was sitting on the edge of my seat. I experienced a similar panic once when one of my children crawled underneath a table full of bolts of fabric. I really liked the last line, but I would suggest taking out the sentence about Tess being an angel and let conclusion rest with the reader. Good job!
Fantastic! This gave me goosebumps!
03/15/07
Wow, I'm exhausted from that wild ride you took me on! Like any mom, my heart was in my throat and you conveyed the mass of emotions so well in the midst of such chaos and then calm. Great work!