Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)

TITLE: Tires and Wind Chimes
By Julie Arduini
03/04/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Jeff Baxter tightened the purple tie on his gray New York State Trooper uniform and checked his appearance in the master bedroom mirror. Jeff’s wife of seven years, Heather, emerged from the hallway and wrapped her arms behind him.

“You don’t have to do this Jeff, everyone will understand.” Her sweet voice was not much louder than a whisper. Jeff cleared his throat and gave her a peck on the cheek.

“I know honey, but I want to. It’s important. I’ll tell you all about it when I get home tonight.”

Jeff’s afternoon schedule wasn’t routine, and it still felt incomplete to get in the car and not have his partner, Willie Coleman, with him. It had been thirteen months since the two came upon a meth lab in the hills of Schuyler County. Their discovery came as much as a surprise to them as it did the owner of the lab, Keith Ketchum.

With back up on the way a pursuit took them through the woods, territory Keith knew well. The gunshots sounded like cannons because the troopers were so close. Keith hit his mark dead on. Willie instantly died from the head wound. Keith was eventually captured, the event plastered throughout the media for two solid weeks.

Through the months Jeff exhausted himself to keep Willie’s memory alive. Willie’s widow, Tanya, worked at a bank and the bank set up a scholarship in Willie’s name. Willie’s entire six foot frame had been full of love for Jesus and people in hopeless situations. Tanya wanted the money to go towards a yearly scholarship to help children in adverse situations purchase school supplies.

She asked Jeff to work on the scholarship committee. There were so many heartbreaking entries Jeff wondered how they could pick just one. When they saw Penny’s application, he handed it to Tanya. She lowered her head and stifled a sob. No words were needed. Jeff would personally escort the winner to the store. Jeff knew this event was something Willie would want. The more Jeff prayed, he realized this shopping venture was something Jesus wanted.

Jeff knew Penny’s address from previous work on Sugar Hill, an economically oppressed area of rural Schuyler County. Keg parties, domestic violence calls, and drug activity kept that area on their radar.

Jeff pulled into the stone driveway with a pair of mutt dogs at the car’s side. The trailer was from the 1970’s and looked like it’d been that long since it was maintained. A tattered white curtain opened quickly and shut just as fast. Tires and wind chimes filled the awning area by the front door steps. Jeff put his hat on and made long strides to the front step. The door swung wide open.

“Trooper Jeff? Mom wants to talk to you before we go.” Jeff knelt down, tipping his hat to the seven year old with a mass of freckles and long red hair.

“That’s me. Are you ready to do some shopping? I’ve a date with a pretty girl with freckles named Penny and we have school supplies to buy.” Penny gave a wide grin, revealing the loss of two front teeth. She held out her hand and escorted Jeff to the living room. A woman most likely in her thirties but so overcome by life she looked ten years older was changing a toddler’s diapers.

“I don’t get why you’re doin’ what you’re doin’, but thank you. Penny’s a good girl. She’s my angel. I believe she can break out of the life she inherited.” The woman couldn’t look him in the eye.

Jeff and Penny said their goodbyes and drove to the nearest Wal-Mart in Watkins Glen, across from Seneca Lake and Clute Park. Penny asked if they could get Burger King and eat by the lake when done. Jeff couldn’t deny the innocent, curious girl.

Three hours later Jeff and Penny came in the trailer with three bags full of pencils, crayons, markers, paper, erasers, folders, a lunch box and a pink Madagascar backpack. She was full from chicken and fries. Penny ran into her mom’s open arms. Her mom was openly weeping. Jeff felt his tears too.

“Your kindness is a miracle Trooper Baxter. I’m so sorry for...” Jeff put his hat back on and pulled a Bible out of his own shopping bag, handing it to Penny’s mom.

“Mrs. Ketchum, it’s what Willie and Jesus wanted me to do, and I’m so glad I did.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 937 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 03/08/07
Very, very nice! I was a little confused at one point when Jeff first came to the trailer, I wasn't sure who was speaking there, but that's probably just me. I liked the story and the character of Penny. Very cute! Especially enjoyed the realistic touches like a Madagascar pink backpack and wanting Burger King. Great work! ^_^
Marilyn Schnepp 03/08/07
A very touching story, and nicely written, too! Neat job on the shopping topic.
Loren T. Lowery03/08/07
Loren T. Lowery03/08/07
This is such a good, well-written story. I have been involved with helping kids at back-to-school time and the confidence and self-esteem it gives to the children (and their families) cannot be measured.

A nice approach to the subject of shopping.
Virginia Gorg03/10/07
Forgiveness is something we often struggle with, yet your words conveyed Jeff's forgiving attitude. Nicely one.
Jacquelyn Horne03/12/07
Wonderfully sweet story. In spite of all the evil in the world today, I believe there is a lot of this type of love being shown. Good writing.
Dolores Stohler03/14/07
Was touched by your story. Very creative take on the shopping topic too. Nicely done.
Myrna Noyes03/15/07
Very touching story! Your descriptions were excellent! :)
Kathie Thomas03/15/07
Loved the story - turning something bad into something good. Nice way to keep a memory.
Joanne Sher 03/15/07
Such a tender story. Great description too. Enjoyed this very much!
Sara Harricharan 03/15/07
Yayness Julie! You got a highly commended. ^_^ Congrats!
Erin Brannan03/15/07
This was really touching. It brought tears to my eyes.
Jen Davis03/15/07
A wonderful story. The description of Jeff pulling up to the trailer was especially vivid. This line was very powerful to me: “She’s my angel. I believe she can break out of the life she inherited.” The woman couldn’t look him in the eye.” A great title too. Congrats on your placement, Julie!
Bonnie Way03/15/07
Congratulations on your win! This is a beautiful story.
Sharlyn Guthrie03/15/07
What a great story! Congratulations on your recognition.
Leigh MacKelvey03/16/07
Oh, I liked this so much! congratualtions on the H.C. Please send me a pm ahead of time with an early brick, so I can read more of your challenge entires before the winners come out! ( don't worry, I'm not a judge, so it's legal!)
Pat Guy 03/29/07
Your ending caught me! Well done! You carried me all the way through till the end - I loved this.