The Official Writing Challenge
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03/08/07
What a powerful, moving, and beautiful story! Everything here came alive for me and I felt as though I were right there in both scenarios. Wonderfully vivid descriptions--both of the happy scene with the little boy's "creamy ice cream grin" and the pink bunny ear poking up out of the mom's shopping bag--and the contrasting nightmare world of the narrator trapped under rubble and darkness and praying in her fear and desperation. The sharp contrasts between the narrator's world before and after the bombing were especially powerful. Terrific job!
03/08/07
Electrifying story with a wonderful ending. Kept my interest throughout - a great read, a great write, and a powerful reminder of what prayer can accomplish! Very nicely done! Terrific job!
03/08/07
Wow! This gave me chills! You did a fantastic job on description - I felt I was there all the way.

What is really sad though, is that it's so possible for this to happen today. *shudder*

Fantastic.
03/08/07
Wonderful job with the reality and the immediacy of the situation...one can see the flickering lights, feel the dust in the air, etc. What a world we live in--come quickly, Jesus!
03/10/07
Excellent story - sad this is a reality in so many parts of the world today. What would I do if caught up in something like that?

Thank you for reminding us of the importance of remembering Scripture.
A very moving story that totally captivated me. Congratulations on such an excellent article.
This fightening story seemed too real. Excellent job!
Powerful and thrilling. Good job at keeping up the intensity!
What a traumatic experience! So glad it turned out well in the end. Thank God for prayer. Good writing.
03/12/07
Chrissy! This is terrific! You had me from beginning to end. So glad you stayed with the challenge my friend. Great description and very good job with the intensity.
Excellent story! Very dramatic and well done descriptions.

It does end a bit too abruptly and neatly, but with 750 words, what can you do?

You could take this idea in a much different direction, if this had a more...unsatisfying result of the bombing. Your character(s) finding out more of what happened and why, feelings and actions of revenge, and the frantic search for answers, etc. you could have a much longer and very powerful story on your hands.

Think about it.

Great entry!
03/13/07
What makes this most frightening is that this is more than possible in our world today. Thank goodness we have Christ despite the terror around us. Well written and suspenseful. Blessings, Jo
03/13/07
This was a well written piece. A very sweet, ordinary day was shattered in a moment of chaos, unfortunately a sign of our times. This was a good technique to use because we weren't prepared for the nightmare that followed. That's how life is, though. Your descriptions are excellent, by the way. Your leisurely pace picked up when the unimaginable came. You've shown some real talent here. Congratulations!
03/13/07
Oh, this is magnificent in every way. You had me at the edge of my seat the whole time, and you had me cheering at the end. I wish I knew the "whole" story, but it's one of those stories where we'll never know everything. Wonderful job building suspense and keeping the reader's interest!
03/14/07
Great detail really makes this story jump off the page, and my heart jump into my throat. Wonderful writing - great job!
03/14/07
Great story! You did well capturing the suddenness of the transition from "before" to "after", as some of the others said. Yours was a poignant reminder that family is most important.

Hugs,
SisJ
03/14/07
I liked the way you began the story with your MC having a good time with her son, then plunged us into a fearful nightmare. Way to write it!

I was relieved when she discovered the limb she found on her original exploration was a store mannequin!

And how horrifying to read that last sentence: "No one had yet claimed responsibility for the bombing…" This was suspenseful, kept me reading to the end. Great job, Chrissy!
03/14/07
Oh, My gosh! You had me sitting on the edge of my seat. I was so relieved to know they were both okay. Lots of great detail throughout the story. A powerful ending as well. I had assumed it was an earthquake, not a bomb. Great job!
You've written a tense and belivable article that could be tomorrow's or even today's headline. We must continue to be vigilant and where would we be without our faith?
03/14/07
More please! This was amazing! I was with Sandy all the way through, the touch of the ice cream cones were very realistic and even when she fell and later smelled sour yogurt, that was great with keeping that in there. I was so glad to know that Tommy was safe too and her promise at the end to memorize more verses. Excellent writing, Chrissy! ^_^
03/14/07
Amazing description - you did an exceptional job of putting us right there - both before and after the explosion. Your MC's thoughts and speech seemed right on. Excellent!
03/14/07
You held be spell-bound, great story for the topic and well written!
Awesome story, you pulled me in from the very beginning. Well done!
Well written, fast moving story. It was a little bit of an abrupt end, but the word count thing has bitten us all. Great jo holding the readers attention.
03/14/07
This was one of those I hold my breath and try not to skim for the end because I was that anxious to see if Tommy would reunite safely with his mom! The descriptions, emotions, it all was powerful and all too real. Very well done!
03/15/07
Wow! What a story! Very nicely written. Reads like the opening scene of a TV drama.
Whoa. Arer you good at this style or what?:0) I have read several of your writings and you have a versatile gift where you can write different ways and each time it is still effective. Wow. I felt like I was right there trying to reach for the mom and rummaging through the piles of debris scouting fervently for her missing son. great impact and action, unexpected,way to pack a suprise punch!Bamm!:0) Grin. God bless your writing. Oh, by the way, thank you for the congratulations on 9th place but hehe, I looked and I must either have vision problems or you maybe confused me with someone else,ha. That happens, don't worry about it. He-he.:0)
Wow! You definitely captured the truth that something can happen so fast. I was just reading along, when the explosion suddenly ripped apart this normal shopping day. I appreciated how you also brought home the lesson of the importance of Scripture memorization.
Powerful article that had me holding my breath. So real and frightening.