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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sewing (02/22/07)

TITLE: Ode to a Turkey
By Sally Hanan


Oh turkey, turkey, woe to thee.
You wonít be on our Christmas tree;
instead youíll be with sauce and beer
and have some stuffing in your rear.

Oh turkey, turkey, donít be sad;
you really should be very glad -
your life is for this Christmas meal -
itís really not such a big deal.

Oh turkey, turkey, did you catch
how I prepared your booby hatch?
The onion, sage and breadcrumbs mix
made you as tasty as Dixie Chicks.

Oh turkey, turkey, yíknow the flap
that used to run right down your back?
I got a needle and stuck it in -
to that flabby, plucked pale skin.

Oh turkey, turkey, it was hard
to find the stitch to showcase lard;
backstitch, running, slipstitch, tack -
which one should decorate your back?

Oh turkey, turkey, needle, thread
did blanket stitch over that bread,
and so continued down the line
until your stuffing pit looked fine.

Oh turkey, turkey, did you know
that I was once a sewing pro?
Thatís why I took such a delight
in stitching up your inner light.

Oh turkey, turkey, such design
to serve up with a glass of wine!
Thank-you for being so delicious,
(and such a huge hit with the missus).

Your life on earth was so worthwhile,
and you sure went on out in style.
Youíve inspired me Ė a new frontier -
itís oversewing stitch next year.

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This article has been read 1312 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 03/01/07
Hee Hee...My laugh for the day! Cleverly done!
Pat Guy 03/01/07
VERY good and just edgy enough to be a delight. LOVED it!
Phyllis Inniss03/02/07
Very clever and entertaining. What an imagination you have!
Joanne Malley03/02/07
Marilee Alvey03/03/07
Hey, I can sew after all! So funny, yet, you've just about turned me into a vegetarian. Thanks for the enjoyable read! Nicely done with creative word choice.
Jan Ackerson 03/06/07
This is easily the funniest poem I've ever read. I rarely laugh out loud, but this one made me literally guffaw. Thank you so much!
william price03/06/07
Oh my my. Did you say, "rear". I can't believe it:)
Very, very funny and entertaining. I had to read it outloud to my wife. Thanks for the laugh. God bless.
Sharlyn Guthrie03/06/07
Now that's a new take on the topic! Very entertaining read.
Donna Powers 03/06/07
This was so funny! Totally enjoyable and truly well done. Thanks so much for sharing it
Helen Paynter03/07/07
My funny bone and my taste-buds were tickled. Very good indeed - woudn't be surprised to see this a winner.
Joanne Sher 03/07/07
What a riot! Just love that first stanza especially. This is TOO much fun.
Julie Arduini03/07/07
So fun and when you start off so strong in the first stanza with rear and keep the piece moving with the same level of creativity, you have to love it. Amazing!
Myrna Noyes03/07/07
I was intrigued by the title (What could it possible have to do with sewing??), and I smiled and laughed throughout the entire poem! Congratulations on a masterpiece of fun! :D
Betty Castleberry03/07/07
The first stanza made me laugh. Too funny. Thanks for sharing this.
Sheri Gordon03/07/07
I just finished reading this to my husband -- who loved the first stanza as much as I did -- and looked up at a commercial on t.v., and there was a turkey. Then we really started laughing. This was so much fun!!!
Deborah Porter 03/09/07
Sally girl, you are a nut--but we already knew that. This is a classic and you win the prize for entering the most off-beat Sewing Entry. Okay, you may not have made it into the highest ranked entries list, but I bet you gave the judges a huge laugh.

Promise me you won't change!

Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
CeCe Lane03/09/07
Oh my! I laughed so hard I about booted my dear man out of bed.

Seema Bagai 11/21/07
This is hilarious!
Laury Hubrich 11/21/07
Makes me want to go free all the poor turkeys out there! Nah, I'm looking forward to every last bite:) Great poem. Just hilarious!
Dee Yoder 11/22/07
Love it! Cracked me up, and I'm glad I'm not having turkey today!
Shari Armstrong 11/22/07
I LOVED this one. I went to read it to my family just now and wondered why I hadn't commented on it before (and realized I'd judged that week).

Classic :)