The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/02/07
Very well told story. Interesting all around. I liked the pace and yet I also wish I had more details. (Hard to do with 750 words.)

Only one typo.

Just a thought - Even though this site is for those of us who are of faith, it seemed a bit unnecessary, or even cliche, to end the story so abruptly on a Jesus reference. Nothing was brought into the story earlier to tell of her Jesus lessons, examples, moments or insights. Sometimes it's enough to SHOW what He is all about, without having to "toss it in" as if trying to make a point. No big deal. Nicely done anyway.
The story got my attention with the first sentence & held it to the end! Descriptions were so vivid I felt I was there!

Loved the way the student & teacher were brought back together. My favorite was the last paragraph... perfect wrap-up for the point of the story,love happy endings with hope. Great story telling & excellent writing!
03/02/07
Great story and wonderful descriptive writing style! I enjoyed this very much! :)
03/04/07
I really liked this a lot. Well written, great idea, fun title. Great job!
Great story. I always like it when restitution is made. It's not always possible. I'm glad it was in this case.