The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/24/07
I liked this story. I would like to see this expanded to tell more about the accident. What happened and how? Overall, I really liked the message and the story. Great job.
Glad to see this accomplishment here, but I would like to know more about why it was such an accomplishment. Good writing.
02/25/07
Great story of perserverance.
I would also like to have had more detail as to what happened to get your MC to this point.
I liked the "comfortably familiar" quirk of the coach. That made him sound more real.
02/25/07
Great, compelling writing. I was definitely engrossed - also would love to know more about the MC. Keep writing!
02/25/07
Compelling readling, and inspirational. A good one for athletes to read as a devotional.
I like the focus of your piece -the concentration on her immediate goal and all the ways she has already won. I think the way you wrote it is great, leaving the reader to imagine the details. Nice job.
02/27/07
What a touching piece. Well done. I also wondered what the main character had been through, but in any case, I was cheering her on, even before she'd started!
02/28/07
This is very inspiring and well written. I read this with a little tear in my eye. Thanks so much for sharing this
02/28/07
This was a well written story, but there's something missing: we've caught this gal who's about to reach the peak, but we can't truly appreciate her climb without knowing...and feeling....where she came from. She's in mid-ascent, and the reader likes to start at the bottom with her, for two reasons: first, to feel like we know her and care about whether she makes it, and, second, to have a measurement with which to truly appreciate her progress. You have OCEANS of talent! I know how tough it is to stay under 750 words, but if you expand this story to include more detail from the trenches, you'll reveal a very moving story.
Your main character shows great determination. This could be a very inspirational piece for anyone who has overcome physical or other challenges. I have to agree with some of the others that it would be nice to know more about your MC. This is still a great read, and well written.
I agree with many of the previous comments on this well-written piece. Until the end, I thought your main protagonist was a member of the Special Olympics, but then I learned about the accident and wanted to learn more.
02/28/07
I loved her perspective of the race and what the real win involved. I wanted to know more of the why and even how...(gotta love word counts!) Since spending time partially paralyzed as a teenager, I was cheering for her with teary eyes, and applauding her attitude and perspective. Good job!
02/28/07
This is great! I love the feeling and emotion here, especially the piece with knowing she's won the 'real prize'. Great stuff here ^_^ Thanks for sharing!
03/01/07
I like the message here. She has won on so many levels after the accident and could actually star as an athlete. It did not matter if she did not win the prize to be given out, God had given her the most precious prize through her perseverance and determination and prayer.