The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/07
You kept me on the edge of my seat. I didn't expect a fight to break out on the ice! It would be interesting to know what happened next!
02/22/07
I like the character of the daughter. The title kind of hinted of something big to happen on the ice. I almost wish that she'd kept trying for the gold, but you did such a great job of bringing her around and that it all fits together wonderfully. ^_^
Your story held my interest all the way through. I especially enjoyed the ending. Balance and priorities are valuable things to learn while young. I'm glad the mother could see it that way.
Good writing. Nice story. Two things bothered me, however. You wroted "blades on Patti’s skates". Who is Patti? Also, I don't think the bully would admit that Dulcie was better than her. She might say, "You think you can skate better than me." But she would never admit to being the lesser skater. However, these are minor issues. Very good story in all.
02/27/07
Good action which drew me along through the story. I noticed the "Patti" issue and the comments of Irina didn't ring quite true as well. One other thing that struck me a little odd was that she was ready to give up skating so fast. Someone who's that close to the Olympics and has been working at it so hard might have more of a struggle in giving up that dream--just a thought. These are minor issues, but overall great storyline.
Good story with a good message! As a past figure skater myself, I did find the story line unrealistic for several reasons, but that doesn't erase your good writing ability. Congrats on your win!!