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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sport or Fitness (02/15/07)

TITLE: A Gentle Push
By dub W
02/15/07


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A laminated card bounced off of the bedspread. David leaned over the bed edge and picked it up. “What’s this?”

“Your new membership to the Y heath club, I signed you up.” Heather brushed the hair out of her eyes and glanced at the desk calendar. “Your first appointment is today at six.”

“Ah, you know I can’t spare that kind of time, shesssh I have work to do.” Besides I don’t wanna be in a place with twenty year old hard bodies. “Call’m, no I’ll call’m, did you pay anything?”

“First of all, I paid it out of my money cheapskate, the money I was saving, well this is a good use, and secondly, you can sure spare the time. Honey, what’d the doctor say during your checkup?”

Never should have told her. Now I won’t hear the end of this. “Yeah, I know, but he doesn’t work for George Maple and doc isn’t handling my projects; you know I get called out at all hours.”

“Handled. I talked to Charlotte; she’s putting George in the program too. You two can sweat together at the gym rather than in a meeting.”

“You said this was an appointment?”

“That’s right hun, all you have to do is show up, and if you want to run away after that it’s up to you. But, let me put it this way, you don’t try this, then I want you to call the company insurance carrier and double up your life insurance. I don’t wanna be left in poverty.”

Guilt trip, here it comes. “Doc, just said I needed exercise. I’ll walk at the golf course.”

“David, you don’t get it do you? Unless you get cardio exercise, lose some of that beer belly you are going to be in the Lord’s house before the kids are grown. Is that what you want?”

“Sheesh, alright, I’ll go to the gym, but if some muscle bound teenager starts pushing me around I’m out of there.” David put on his hat and headed toward the door.

Heather followed him through the house and put her arms around her husband. “Seriously, hun, I want you and I to be around a long time. I love you too much to watch you kill yourself. Do this because you want to, not because I nagged you into it.”

She’s right, phooey “Okay, George is going to be there anyway, we can talk over contracts while we workout.”

“You’re incorrigible.” Heather laughed and pushed David out the door. “Hey, you forgot my kiss.”

All day long David thought about the gym appointment. Finally, closing time came and he stuck his head in his boss’s office. “Hey man, going to the Y?”

George looked up with heavy eyes, “Yeah, is it that time. Charlotte told me you were going too.”

“Heather told me you were going. I think they plotted against us.”

The two men rode together to the area YMCA. However, when they entered, a casually dressed middle-aged man greeted them. Over his shoulder was a group of businessmen and women on treadmills, riding stationary bicycles, and working with weights. Through glass windows another group of men and women were entering a swimming pool.

George nodded to the man and put his card on the desk. “We’ve been enlisted for bodily torture.”

"What kind of program have you got for a couple of fat guys?" David patted George on the shoulder.

The man laughed, “Well, first, welcome to the Y. My name’s Mike, the whole staff is here at your service, but before we go too far let’s take a tour, then you can decide what kind of a program you want to get into.”

“Looks like a lot of other businessmen are here.” George pointed to group of men.

Mike smiled. “Lots of guys have decided to live a little longer and enjoy life a little bit more. But, here we focus on the whole person, a lifestyle of Christian health.”

David placed his card on the desk. “I guess then, this is where we start.” Maybe I could lose a little weight.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Christine Dunn02/22/07
Hmmm... Good idea. A Christian gym! I'm glad your character decided to work out after all. Noticed just a few punctuation mistakes e.g. "Is it that time." Other than this, I enjoyed your article.
Sara Harricharan 02/22/07
Not too sure about the POV's on this piece. I notice you used some thoughts but didn't really seem to be telling it from David's POV. Just my opinion though. I thought this was funny and I especially liked the character of the wife and the line about doubling life insurance. Nice touch with having a Christian Gym. Wish one of those were in my area. ^_^
Marilyn Schnepp 02/24/07
I'm not surprised that the YMCA is a Christian Organization. After all,it's initials are for Young Men's Christian Association...so? That's the way it began. Good story.
Sharlyn Guthrie02/26/07
I like the use of conversation throughout to tell your story. I especially chuckled at David's private thoughts. It's a fun-to-read and believable husband/wife scenario.
Joanne Sher 02/26/07
I noticed a few comma issues, but this was a nicely written story overall. I enjoyed hearing the MC's thoughts.
Betty Castleberry02/26/07
I'm glad the wives "nagged" them into going. ;0)
I'd like to see this expanded, and get to know the two couples better. It almost reads like a sit com. That't a compliment, by the way.
Allison Egley 02/27/07
Oh, I enjoyed this. As others have noted, I especially enjoyed the thoughts or "side-comments." That made it feel more realistic. Great job.
Loren T. Lowery02/27/07
This was written so true to life it could almost be an expose. I like the way you led your protagonist to make all the right choices for his life.
Donna Emery02/27/07
A nice story. I enjoyed reading this. My gym does play Christian music but not all the time. Loved the dialect. Thanks for sharing this
Patty Wysong02/28/07
Good story with a good point that other business people are exercising, too. I liked hearing David's thoughts. :-)