The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/17/07
It seems this writer has pictured the Bible days with the same type of people we have in modern times - which is probably true, but we don't think of them that way. Brilliant thinking, because they were people just like us, with problems just like our modern-day problems. Interesting story, and very well written. Nice Job.
02/18/07
Wow! Good job of making the Bible come to life. I was right there with the mother, wagging my finger. I know people like that son-in-law. As Solomon himself said, "There is nothing new under the sun." Amen.
02/18/07
Really good characters here--I love reading about Bible stores freom unique POVs.

There are a few speech anachronisms, but your dialog gives your characters distinct personalities, so that's a minor matter.

Very engaging story.
02/18/07
The dialogue was especially strong here. Great story!
Yes, they had the same types of problems then as we have today. I liked the way the son-in-law went to work when he realized the results of his laziness/selfishness.
02/21/07
I liked how you made the Bible story so real! The only point that bothered me a little was some overuse of adverbs - but otherwise it was great - good dialogue too!