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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Craft (as in handcraft) (02/08/07)

TITLE: Fruit Cake and Craft Projects
By Ed VanDeMark


Fruit Cake and Craft Projects

Name two things you tolerate because a nice person thinks they are wonderful.

Name two things you would love to re-gift to the garbage man but you canít.

Name two things that seem to have been invented in the bowels of hell and consistently make their way into Christian homes.

Does anyone know what the statute of limitations is for getting rid of them?

Is it proper to accidentally on purpose lose them when you move?

Is it legal to starve your dog until he finishes the fruit cake? Is it in poor taste to decorate the bird cage with craft projects?

Fruit cake makes a fantastic door stop and craft projects are one way of preventing dust from settling on the top of your refrigerator.

Fruit cakes make excellent body armor, and craft projects can be recycled into new craft projects by simply putting them through the paper shredder.

Cherry bombs in fruit cake are fun and craft projects attached to helium balloons give gifts to the poor people of China.

To say that Iím not thrilled to receive my apple pie and orange juice rearranged into a fruit cake is an understatement. The concept of laying out Popsicle sticks to resemble a sun flower somehow fails to capture my interest. Yet with all of this said I endorse both fruit cake and craft projects.

Fruit cakes tend to come from elderly women with loving hearts and limited financial resources. They are also the product of a bottle of rum sheís been trying to find a way to dispose of without offending Uncle Joe. Crafts are the way young children tell their grandparents they are special. They are likewise the gifts given by people that canít afford a trip to Wal-Mart and those that believe gnomes and chia pets are replicas of Michelangeloís finest work.

I donít like fruit flavored bricks and lawn ornaments in them selves but I love them in the spirit of love in which they are given.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. (Mt.5:8 NIV).

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. (Mt. 5:7 NIV).

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This article has been read 553 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marilee Alvey02/15/07
Good job. Sometimes I think that, as Christians, we aren't supposed to feel anything negative, but you've done a good job of showing us the humor in it. It's absolutely true that, though we fault the gift, we would never fault the gift giver. After a certain age, most people think of crafts as dust catchers, but there was a time in our lives where it was all we could afford...and it was enough..... Thanks for the little slice of truth. I'd like to present you with my award: a two year old fruitcake..... Fresh and creative (you, not the fruitcake!)
Betty Castleberry02/17/07
LOL! I adore humor pieces, and this one was so much fun. Thank you for this.
Julie Arduini02/18/07
I thought this was hysterical. The line about the chia pet and Michaelangelo, genius! Christians can be funny without being irreverent and you pulled it off. Excellent.
Dolores Stohler02/21/07
There are people, you know, who truly love fruitcake. My mother was one of them and she put a lot of love into the baking. But there are good ones and bad ones. I have one of the better recipes and you're welcome to it if you email me, lol.