The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/15/07
Oh, my! I felt as if this woman needed to enjoy her cruise more! When I am in the midst of an idea, I don't like to be interrupted by people or events. I don't want to stop the flow. At first, I thought it would be the perfect thing to do: to go on a cruise for inspiration, but I think it would have served her better to go home afterwards and bask in the thoughts and feelings she felt. Now that's inspiration! See how you put me right in the story? I'm feeling frustration at being out to sea and in a frenzy of creativity while still trying to be hospitable and get my money's worth!
02/16/07
Beautiful words fit for a king, but for this reader...it lagged a bit. But that's only one person's opinion; not to worry.
This was very good. I could place myself in the story. One thing was confusing. Did you mean she watched the aquaintances "disembark"? The craft would have been going out to sea, not disembarking. But, in spite of that, this was a very good piece.