The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/07
A beautiful story! I really enjoyed reading this--the characters came to life for me with both their realistic dialogue and the vivid descriptions used. My favorites: "caramel hair," "smudged freckles," "flush stained her skin," "hands like fragile starfish"...also the alliterative words like "soggy," "slimy," and "shimmering" used close together.

Moving message, too. Great job!
Wow, what a wonderful story. I am beginning to wonder if God is trying to get me to take some time and fish with my boys more, though.
02/11/07
A really great story, great read, and a wonderful writer to bring a lump to my throat. Really sweet. And I'm sure both were pleased with the outcome...giving and taking and teaching. Lovely!
very good story. I was a little confused though when you jumped back into the present with no warning. Took awhile to realize the scene had changed. But once I got my bearing it ran smoothly.