The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/02/07
Hehe You captured the twins' interactions well.

Try to avoid passive voice. It does work most of the time, but I found the sentence about taking the bottle to the picnic table a bit awkward.

One thing that "bothered" me a bit (and it's not really a big deal) is that once the note was held up to the mirror, they seemed to have no trouble reading it. I'm guessing most of the letters would have still been backwards, making the reading a bit awkward, even with a mirror.

Great and very creative story over all.
02/04/07
Hahaha, great sense of humor at the end :) I'd have put this sentence first to really draw me in: Most ten-year-old boys are ready and waiting for an unexpected adventure during a long hot summer. This one fell right at their feet. Sounds like you had fun writing this one.
02/05/07
Super exciting story; but I must be dense. Can't figure out who M.D. is? Don't know who Duke, the wealthy, much published writer is, and haven't a clue as to where they got the boat with the wooden oak siding, or Who cousin Charlie is? Wow, do I feel dumb. But story was suspenseful and well written.
Duh...still musing over all my denseness.
02/06/07
Cute and clever! I enjoyed all the fun and intrigue.