The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/01/07
I liked this. It's believable and shows a side of God that many of us don't really recognize. well done!
02/02/07
I loved the realism here. You painted a graphic, painful picture of the price we pay for being lost. I have a childhood friend who is now incarcerated, and I thought of him as I read. Blessings to you.
02/03/07
This felt so real, so authentic. The slang was amazingly effectiv in putting me right there. I loved the image of almost burning the verses that save you from hellfire!
02/04/07
Your first paragraph was
simply a masterpiece of imagery. I wonder if you know how good you are.
Blessings and congratulations!
02/05/07
You did good, dawg! Kudos!
02/05/07
PS: One more thing; if your main character had spent two more candy bars for a "hotrail" he wouldn't have been caught. Definition for those not familiar with incarceration...Hot Rail is a "look out". :)
02/05/07
I enjoyed this. I don't know why, but I really enjoyed the humor in the statement, "Read, don't burn."
02/05/07
William, I loved it Dawg. This is one of my favorites of yours. Very creative. How on earth did you think of using a Bible page as a rolling paper? Excellent writing.
02/05/07
Your opening line was catchy and the rest of your piece didn't disappoint either. Well done!
02/05/07
What a GREAT voice this guy has! Awesome writing style here--you struck JUST the right note.

Maybe end it with the "I was set free" line? Just a thought.

This is one of your best.
Pat Guy  
02/05/07
THIS was so COOL!

It had absolutely everything and it's just way too creative. ;)

I loved the uniqueness, the subliminal message, the humor, just the whole creation of this piece.

Kudos William. Wow!
02/05/07
I hope (for your sake) the jail part of the story isn't from personal experience :) but even if it is, this was a great piece of writing with an even better message.
02/05/07
Oh, this was great. Spiritual arson... I'll have to use that phrase sometime. I too loved the voice. It was very unbelievable and realistic.
02/06/07
The intro to this story is captivating and very well written. I really liked how the scripture he heard at chapel was the same scripture he had used as rolling papers. This was a great line: “I was set free.” A powerful message which really pulled the story together.
02/07/07
So realistic and creative. The dialogue made the scene very vivid and the whole atmosphere seemed to come from a movie.
02/07/07
Creative entry. Thanks for the adventure giving us a glimpse into the county jail. This verse comes to my mind: "The law is our tutor to lead us to Christ." Good work!
02/07/07
Well devleoped characters and setting that delivered a meaningful story wonderfully told.
02/07/07
That last line in the first paragraph, wow! The dialogue here was outstanding. This piece will burn in my mind for some time to come.
02/07/07
Well written, believable story. Well done.
02/07/07
I could sense the desperation in this piece and the feeling of relief and peace at the end. Love the note stuck on the bible. "read don't burn"
02/07/07
Very good and very original! I loved the dialog and enjoyed the fresh look at the topic. Thanks for sharing it
02/08/07
Great illustration of God's grace. I love the characterization and how the MC's ignorance of the lingo enabled us to so readily learn enough of it for the story to be realistic.

I also like the term "spiritual arson". Good job.
02/08/07
Wow! Very compelling and well-written piece with an authentic feel! Terrific message, too! :)