The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/07
I really liked how the last lines and first lines of adjacent verses mirrored each other.

I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a rhyme scheme or rhythm to it, and if there was, I had some trouble finding it.

I enjoyed the message of this.
02/03/07
Very good poetic structure. You've got a poet's heart, for sure. Work, perhaps, on more poetic language--simile, metaphor, imagery. That will make your already excellent poetry much more powerful.