Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Reading (01/25/07)

TITLE: Oren's Burden
By Sandra Petersen
01/28/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Let no man’s heart fail because of him; your servant will go and fight with this Philistine.”

And Saul, my king, says to me, “You are but a boy. What can you do against this giant?”

“I have tended my father’s sheep and the Lord saw fit to strengthen me to deliver them from both lion and bear. This Philistine is like one of them, defying the living God of your people.”

King Saul persuades me to wear his armor and his coat of mail and crowns me with his helmet. He straps a sword on my loins, but I cannot walk with . . .


Twelve-year-old Oren heard the whistle of the ruler in the air before it cracked against his knuckles. He winced.

A hand from behind yanked him by his shirt collar to his feet.

“I see Oren knows the primer lesson so well that he can spend his time daydreaming,” Miss Gulliver sneered. “Perhaps you would like to demonstrate your reading skills in front of the class.”

Oren’s cheeks blazed . He shambled to the front of the room and hunched beside the teacher’s desk, his primer in his trembling hands. The thing he feared most had come to pass. Would he be able to decipher the jumbled words this time?

“Read for us, Mister Cramer.”

Oren swallowed to clear the lump from his throat. The words swam before his eyes.

He focused his attention upon a shaft of sunshine that bleached the worn wooden floor an unnatural white. The sunbeam seemed to taunt him with a promise of freedom. Is it a doorway to another world? Then a shadow with skirts obstructed the light.

“We’re waiting, Mister Cramer.”

Oren shifted his gaze to Miss Gulliver’s feet. He had never noticed before how tiny they were and how her lace-trimmed petticoat peeped out from under her blue calico.

She grunted her impatience. “Go stand in the corner, young man. I will talk to your parents after school.”

As his classmates’ voices droned on in their studies, Oren imagined himself kneeling beside a muddy brook . . .

And he picked up five smooth stones. One stone nestled in his sling as he faced the calico-clad giant who mocked his youth and threatened his existence.

“This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, for the battle is the Lord’s.”

The giant drew his primer from the sheath at his side. The leather sling whistled in the air over Oren’s head . . .


**********************
True to her word, Miss Gulliver accompanied the boy home. Oren shrank in stature as she painted a picture of a boy given to laziness and sure to become morally corrupt if his ways were not corrected with swift and severe discipline. His mother’s face paled as she clasped and unclasped her hands. Oren watched a muscle twitch along his father’s jaw line. He knew he was in for it.

That evening Oren and his mother listened to his father read about Solomon by the flickering firelight of the hearth. Oren squirmed in his seat. The welts on his legs from his father’s whipping stung like the bites of a hundred fire ants. Shame clouded his thoughts. For once, as his father read, the boy did not imagine himself as the hero of the Bible story. He hurt too badly.

Lord, I need the wisdom and knowledge of Solomon. How do I tell my parents how much I want to read, but can’t?

His father yawned. Placing the Bible on the mantel, he lumbered off toward the curtain that divided their bedroom from the rest of the cabin.

“Oren?” His mother roused him from his silent prayers and leaned forward to gaze into his eyes. “I know in my heart you’re a hard worker. Something has been troubling you. What is it?”

He hesitated and frowned, trying to frame the words that would describe his struggle. With sudden inspiration, he reached up to remove the Bible from its resting place.

“Let me read to you, Mama.” Oren found Psalm 1. Sounding out each word was such an effort that minutes passed before he was halfway through the first verse.

When he finished the verse, he was exhausted. He felt his mother’s arms around him and her tears on his neck.

“My precious son! I didn’t know.”

His burden shared, Oren embraced his mother, the Bible open in his lap.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1115 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 02/02/07
Oh, this is so moving and poignant! The characters, especially Oren, just came alive on the page. Great details.
Valerie Routhieaux02/03/07
Wonderful. Very descriptive, satisfying ending. I could feel everything Oren felt. Well done.
Mariane Holbrook02/04/07
Very poignant article. Beautifully and sensitively written with a ton of lessons to be learned from it.
Jen Davis02/05/07
Such a sad story, but we are left with a glimmer of hope at the end when Oren shares his burden with his mother. This was wonderfully written, and the vivid descriptions really brought the story to life.
Jan Ackerson 02/05/07
Sad, and wonderfully written, with just the right degree of hope at the end.
Sally Hanan02/05/07
A great story. Only one hesitation goes with it, and that is that I am unsure as to whether or not dyslexia was known about in the time period you set. Because of that, I don't know if Oren's mom would have been so understanding. Beautiful writing, and you captured the emotions and characterization incredibly well.
Allison Egley 02/05/07
Oh, I loved this. As others have said, the characters really came to life, especially Oren.
Donna Emery02/06/07
This is so well done. I could see the scene clearly and my heart ached for Oren. Thanks so much for sharing this
Venice Kichura02/06/07
Great job in letting the reader feel the shame of this poor young man who struggles to read. Good use of "showing" rather than "telling."
Julie Arduini02/07/07
I really could feel "Oren's Burden." This was very well done.
Sara Harricharan 02/07/07
Charming is the word that comes to mind after I read this! Poor Oren had my sympathy for his daydreaming (Something I am far too eager to indulge myself in as well) I liked the conflict you showed between his attention and wanting to please his parents and understand at the same time. Very well done with something like this! ^_^
Amy Michelle Wiley 02/07/07
Great story. I have eye problems that lead to similar problems as dyslexia, and can identify with this story. Good job!
william price02/07/07
I REALLY enjoyed this. Excellent job. God bless.
Myrna Noyes02/08/07
Very touching story! I saw Oren as a very intelligent, perceptive, and imaginative boy who was suffering an unknown affiction. His pain was evident, too, and I sorrowed with him over the injustice of his treatment. Great job!