The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/02/07
Lovely story! Your first two paragraphs were so descriptive! I especially liked the phrase "...the Light of the world had fallen from the sky and all the vast depths of the universe left to weep at His passing."

I noticed a couple "mechanical" errors that proofreading would fix, but felt your piece was well-written. Thank you for sharing this! :)
02/02/07
I definitely wanted to know more about Dorris, and was very intrigued by the last part of this. I wonder if you'd consider doing a flip-flop here: a much shorter Biblical paraphrase in Dorris' mind, and more exposition of her character.
I love the way you brought a poignant story from the bible into the topic, but it did throw me a little. I think Jan's right, a small intro to the character would help to transition the reader. Great writing! I enjoyed reading this.
02/03/07
Searching for the topic "reading"...it was found delightfully in the last paragraph. Sweet story, that was an enjoyable read.
02/06/07
A lovely story and I also enjoyed this short glimpse of Dorris. Thanks for sharing this
02/06/07
Nice job! Kudos! I like your work.
02/07/07
I agree with the other comments, nicely done and would like to know more about Dorris. Those first two paragraphs were some very strong writing, very.
02/07/07
This was great 'biblical fiction' definitely made it more real. The ending was sweet ^_^