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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Art (01/18/07)

TITLE: One Stroke
By Pat Guy
01/24/07


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She turns away,
from the canvas waiting,
anticipating.
Blemished by the hand,
of a novice
her hand.
A distorted picture,
of what should have been.
A distorted picture,
of what will never be.
Here now,
in this silvery pool,
of reflected shame,
where lies tarnish hope.

Ugly, ravaging lies.


One stroke of Crimson stain,
One stroke of Love so white,
The pain of blackest Death,
The pain of deepest Night.

He anoints with Holy Oil,
He anoints with Holy Light,
The touch of the Master,
The touch of Death and Life.

Pure, Redeeming Life.


She reaches out,
to the canvas waiting,
anticipating.
Transformed by the hand,
of the Master
His hand.
A masterpiece perfected,
of what has always been.
A masterpiece perfected,
of what will always be.
Here now,
in this silvery pool,
of reflected Grace,
where Truth reveals Hope.

Beautiful, Healing Truth.














2007


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This article has been read 932 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laurie Glass01/25/07
A lovely poem with a beautiful message. I like how you mixed the forms in this. I'd be too chicken to try that. Good job.
Sally Hanan01/27/07
This one's a little firecracker, definitely not a bomb! I love the combined analogy of the wrecking of the painting v. how she sees herself in "this silvery pool of reflected shame". It reminds me too of the Scripture about reflecting His image, and it all depends on which mirror we're measuring ourselves against - it's not a mirror of perfection we're up against, it's a silvery pool of reflected Grace. I frequently tell people - look at yourself through His eyes - it completely changes the view :)
Sharlyn Guthrie01/28/07
I like how the construction of the poem fits your verses...the first and last being almost mirror images of each other in meaning, both written in free verse. Then the middle verse about Christ's redeeming work is more rhythmic and serves as a fulcrum for the other two. Very nice!
Joanne Sher 01/28/07
The two different forms here were VERY effective - worked just right, IMO, for what you were attempting to convey. No suggestions :)
Betty Castleberry01/28/07
My favorite lines:

He anoints with Holy Oil,
He anoints with Holy Light,

I always think of His light as healing and making one whole. You captured that feeling for me.
This is very well done.


T. F. Chezum01/28/07
No suggestions from me either. I liked this a lot.
Suzanne R01/29/07
Magnificent!

The imagery is truly superb. Well done!
Jan Ackerson 01/29/07
Really, really beautiful, Pat!
Crista Darr01/29/07
Ah, why do I feel like crying? This is so beautiful.
Elizabeth Baize 01/29/07
You said such much with so little! I love the vividness, and am amazed how you created an outline that let's the reader's imagination fill in.
Shari Armstrong 01/29/07
Lovely words - simple, yet a lot there :)
Donna Emery01/30/07
I really liked the form here because it added to what you were trying to say. This is well done, and a wonderfully expressive poem. Thanks for sharing it.
Linda Watson Owen01/30/07
Yes, very beautiful, Pat! I love the structure of this...the mirror image reflected in the the form. What seems very free form at first is gracefully deliberate and planned. That takes real skill!
Sara Harricharan 01/31/07
Short. Sweet. Simple. Beautiful. There's so much to say in this piece, and yet so much said without going over. Quill's off to you-this is definitely a new favorite of mine. Loved the descriptions you used. ^_^
Edy T Johnson 02/07/07
This is the way I like to read theology! Your poem unfolds the story of a person's heart experiencing the ultimate relationship so effectively. It hits home better than many a sermon, I think.

Thank you for commenting on my writing, too. I appreciate it very much.