The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/26/07
This was a beautiful story. It drew me right in and I felt I was right there, picturing each scene. Wonderful details, and I loved the last two lines.

There were some grammatical errors and verb tense changes that were a little distracting.

A wonderful story with great detail.
01/26/07
This was an excellent story. I felt as if I were touring right beside her. The pace was leisurely, as it would be with a 78 year old! It was a great message as well! Thank you for writing it!
01/26/07
You did a wonderful job of describing the atmosphere in this claustrophic place, and of showing us her spiritual journey through these masterpieces. Just lovely.
01/28/07
Amazing description - I loved the woman's reactions to these ancient paintings. You put her, and me, right in the middle of them. Love the concluding prayer as well.
01/29/07
I could see the paintings clearly and hear the woman's thoughts as she viewed them. A lovely reminder in the end. Thanks for sharing it.
01/30/07
Very nice, Leigh! Great story well told. I love this line: "The sweet taste of warm grapes fill her mouth as the water turns to a glorious shade of amber." You took me there!
:) Cat
01/31/07
I like this! Very nice. My favorite part was the prayer at the end. Thanks so much for sharing this, the title fit just right.
01/31/07
You captured the emotion and imagery beautifully with this one. Some constructive c: In order to use a tense in a story, it has to remain the same throughout. You opened in past tense, and then switched halfway through. In this case, I think it would have worked better to stay in the past tense.
Again, great job!