The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/26/07
This is a very touching story. And I love the title!

I do have one suggestion -- try and watch the small errors that are easily overlooked, but can take away from the general flow of your writing, like missing quotation marks, things like that.

Keep chasing rainbows and writing stories; you are sure to be a winner. Blessings, Cheri
01/27/07
I enjoyed this very much. I felt like it hopped about a bit in the middle, but you pulled it all together in the end.
You conveyed Jenna's emotions very well. I wasn't real fond of the father-in-law until the very end when he redeemed himself. That's probably what you wanted...huh? ;0)
Nicely done.
01/28/07
This story is a good reminder to think before you speak! I agree with the "hopping around in the middle" comment someone made, but I like the way he realized her talent at the end. Keep chasing those stories!
01/28/07
I can relate so deeply with this story, attempting to earn my in-law's respect and love, and I'm certain I'm not alone.
You told the story so well my stomach was in knots at the beginning, but the hope-filled ending was brillant and touching...giving the father-in-law some redemption.
01/29/07
How sad to have in-law problems! You portrayed them with a great deal of skill.

There was perhaps a bit more "telling" than "showing," particularly in the middle section.

Great ending, a real lump-in-the-throat maker.
01/29/07
I've known some people as critical as the father-in-law, it's not easy to deal with. Some good characters, nice touch of them both starting to connect after each having a loss.
01/29/07
A very realistic character portrait and I liked it very much. I liked the way that the father-in-law changed only gradually but in a realistic way. Thanks for sharing this.