Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Art (01/18/07)

TITLE: Met a Baglady Walking
By dub W
01/18/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Met a bag lady walking
and then tipped my hat to say
a slight wish of good morning
softly spoken

She smiled and she waved
as she shuffled along while
picking up Kants and rappers
silently there

Her coat was worn and tattered
no shoes to complete the show
no masterpiece painting so
aptley given

Her Bible in the cart was
top shelf and opened widely
red borne letters warmed her soul
quickly read

She parted me then singing
a favorite gospel song
her perfection of art
Godly offered

Met a lady with big bags
and then tipped my hat to say
an offer of a greeting
boldly spoken

Her gait was fast on the morn
bags so purchased in that day
pocketbook belieing contents
hustle gains

She frowned and she dodged
as she hurried along
stepping on cans and wrappers
awaiting there

Met a bag lady walking


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 925 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Emery01/28/07
You definitely made me see the lady clearly. This is an unusual style but I like the way it adds to the portrait of the woman. Thanks for sharing this
Joanne Sher 01/28/07
Love the detail and the contrast between the two ladies. Thanks for sharing.
Timothy Oesch01/28/07
It seems to me that you are contrasting the physical appearance and the state of the soul. The poor woman is, in fact, the richer of the two..... Not a poet myself so I cannot comment on style, but I definitely like the gist of the peace. Would love to see it fleshed out a bit.
Marilee Alvey01/28/07
I had to read this twice. I don't know much about poetry, so I'm timid to critique it. However, I liked this one, the second time around. I liked the difference in how you greeted each one. I liked how one seemed to be concerned, and working on her soul, while the other was just in a hurry to gather. I like how the one tread on the refuse that the other so carefully picked up. There was a lot in this poem, even for a person who is clueless about poetry meter, etc. I can only say that I enjoyed your insights...and the title was spot on!
Betty Castleberry01/28/07
I think you said quite a lot in this piece. I'm not familiar with the poetry style you used here, so I can't comment on that. I do, however, know what I like, and I did like this.
Shari Armstrong 01/28/07
Cool - love the contrast between the two ladies with bags :)
Marilyn Schnepp 01/28/07
"Met a Baglady Walking". Great title...then I read on; truthfully I don't know whether this is a sonnet, a lymerick, prose, or just thoughts in short wavelengths. Interesting take on the Topic of Art - Two "baglady's walking". Still pondering over what to call this "bit-o' philosophy"... written in poetic form, but not a poem per se'. Neat "artistic(?)" thoughts.
Teri Wilson01/28/07
Loved the message and the contrast between the two ladies. Extremely effective. I couldn't get the rhythm, but I don't know anything about poetry.
Crista Darr01/28/07
Well, I absolutely love this! I'd enjoy a bit more strong, descriptive words for your ladies, but still...fantastic work!
Leigh MacKelvey01/28/07
Hey, a poem is a poem is a poem! Doesn't matter about the form or style . I liked the form in which you wrote. It was edgy and your meaning was clear, but left the reader to wonder a little and think further, which is what a poem should do! My only suggestion would be to think about a bit of punctuation st the end of some of the line breaks. It might make it a little stronger. Good job!
Leigh MacKelvey01/28/07
Just read this again! silly me, a poem should always be read more than once! The end line of each stanza .. wow!
Read them all one after the other and you have a poem in itself! The techinque in this is excting!
Jan Ackerson 01/29/07
Awesome! I loved this!
Jan Ackerson 01/29/07
Awesome! I loved this!
Kathleen Morris01/29/07
This reminds me of a song. I don't know why, but it just makes me want to put a tune to it. Great job!
Sara Harricharan 01/31/07
This was pretty 'neat'. I liked the title and the differences between the two different women.
Sally Hanan01/31/07
I really enjoyed this one Dub - it made me slow down along with you and the bag lady, and the rhythm of it made me feel like I was walking alongside you. Nice stretch of your talent.