The Official Writing Challenge
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01/28/07
You definitely made me see the lady clearly. This is an unusual style but I like the way it adds to the portrait of the woman. Thanks for sharing this
01/28/07
Love the detail and the contrast between the two ladies. Thanks for sharing.
01/28/07
It seems to me that you are contrasting the physical appearance and the state of the soul. The poor woman is, in fact, the richer of the two..... Not a poet myself so I cannot comment on style, but I definitely like the gist of the peace. Would love to see it fleshed out a bit.
01/28/07
I had to read this twice. I don't know much about poetry, so I'm timid to critique it. However, I liked this one, the second time around. I liked the difference in how you greeted each one. I liked how one seemed to be concerned, and working on her soul, while the other was just in a hurry to gather. I like how the one tread on the refuse that the other so carefully picked up. There was a lot in this poem, even for a person who is clueless about poetry meter, etc. I can only say that I enjoyed your insights...and the title was spot on!
I think you said quite a lot in this piece. I'm not familiar with the poetry style you used here, so I can't comment on that. I do, however, know what I like, and I did like this.
01/28/07
Cool - love the contrast between the two ladies with bags :)
01/29/07
"Met a Baglady Walking". Great title...then I read on; truthfully I don't know whether this is a sonnet, a lymerick, prose, or just thoughts in short wavelengths. Interesting take on the Topic of Art - Two "baglady's walking". Still pondering over what to call this "bit-o' philosophy"... written in poetic form, but not a poem per se'. Neat "artistic(?)" thoughts.
01/29/07
Loved the message and the contrast between the two ladies. Extremely effective. I couldn't get the rhythm, but I don't know anything about poetry.
01/29/07
Well, I absolutely love this! I'd enjoy a bit more strong, descriptive words for your ladies, but still...fantastic work!
Hey, a poem is a poem is a poem! Doesn't matter about the form or style . I liked the form in which you wrote. It was edgy and your meaning was clear, but left the reader to wonder a little and think further, which is what a poem should do! My only suggestion would be to think about a bit of punctuation st the end of some of the line breaks. It might make it a little stronger. Good job!
Just read this again! silly me, a poem should always be read more than once! The end line of each stanza .. wow!
Read them all one after the other and you have a poem in itself! The techinque in this is excting!
01/29/07
Awesome! I loved this!
01/29/07
Awesome! I loved this!
This reminds me of a song. I don't know why, but it just makes me want to put a tune to it. Great job!
This was pretty 'neat'. I liked the title and the differences between the two different women.
02/01/07
I really enjoyed this one Dub - it made me slow down along with you and the bag lady, and the rhythm of it made me feel like I was walking alongside you. Nice stretch of your talent.