The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/18/07
I loved this story! It's beautifully written in every way--descriptions, dialogue, expression of feelings, originality of viewpoint--and has a powerful though painful message. It's so easy for us to assume that someone who appears completely inert is without all consciousness--I've made this mistake with others.

This also reminds me of a friend of mine who, a year before her death, was bedridden and paralyzed from the neck down with MS--yet whose faith and spiritual wisdom proved so much greater than mine.

The title of this story drew me in as well. An excellent job in every way! Thanks for sharing.
01/19/07
This is an eloquent and precious story. I have many patients like your narrator and I always am so glad when families approach their illness with faith and hope rather than discouragement and despair.
An excellent story that needed to be told. Well done!
01/20/07
A sympathetic story told well told. But at the ending I thought more about the patient than the topic of "writing"...which was this week's word. It was definitely thrown in many times in thought, but from this reader's viewpoint - secondary. However, very creative.
01/20/07
This is so heartbreaking, I am crying all over again over the Terri Schaivo case. If only she had had a husband like this narrator has. You have done a beautiful job of giving voice to the voiceless (I've heard similar stories from recovered "brain dead" patients). My applause should be deafening.

Beyond that, I recognize how many of us as writers do the lion's share of composing our rough drafts in our head, before we ever tackle the letters on the keyboard. As my old journalism professor used to write on my papers: "On Target!"
01/21/07
A very powerful story. “But I am not brain dead. If so, how is it possible that I can hear and smell these people? How is it possible that I can still think of writing? How is it that I can still love so much?” I also thought of Terri as I read this story. Just as Edy said, you have given a voice to the voiceless. I hope that you will find other ways to share this story.
Wonderfully written!

I'm sitting here wanting to scream, "No, no! Don't do this. Can't you hear me? These wretched machines don't know everything. Is it too much to ask for a little more time?"

The frightening thing is, this scene has doubtless been played over and over thousands and thousands of time while the immobile patient receives the goodbye kiss from her loved ones, hears their weeping as they depart from the room, and horror of horrors, hears the snap as a nurse pulls the plug.......
01/25/07
Wow - absolutely exceptional, and completely deserving of your placing. Congrats!!
01/30/07
Beatifully written with creative, vivid detail - held my interest the whole time. I think it was stretch to fit in under the topic of writing, but still very good. I know other's have commented that this teaches a lesson, or gives a voice to the voiceless, but let us not assume that this is what really happens, just merely one side of the argument that you beautifully express. Congrats!