The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Loved the cookie connection with friendship! Brilliant idea!
04/11/05
I liked the paragrapgh whee you describe the risk and the reward of being transparent and feeling loved and liked at the same time.
04/11/05
I loved how you said, "I yearn for another bite into that Oreo cookie". Great friendships are like that, so satisfying and good and something we long for when they are not there anymore. Great writing!
04/14/05
I want some! (grins) I'm a stay at home wife now with an empty nest and I'm aching for some neighborhood friends. Great writing!

Mary N
04/15/05
I would have started with the fifth paragraph first, then the forth. This would orientate the reader as to the importance of the relationships, why the narrator was "choosing" people and they impact they would have -- and the cookie metaphor would have more of a "full circle" effect. It would be helpful to take us to Texas first before introducing it as a sentimental convention, or leave it out all together. I felt the pain of the separation because I could feel the warmth of the group. Nice story.
04/16/05
"we ... talked each otherís ears off, as women have been known to do since the dawn of civilization."

AMEN! Now I have it in writing to show Mrs. Maxx that what I say is true!

Very nice story... excellent writing style!
04/18/05
Congratulations Sally! What can I say? You are on a roll and deserved your great result in this Challenge. Well done. Love, Deb (Challenge Co-ordinator)