The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/14/07
I truly enjoyed the main part of this story. I have to say that starting out with "the climax" then repeating it later confused me. I had to read it again to be sure it wasn't two separate instances. Your details and characterization were wonderful, though. A great read!
01/16/07
I so very much relate to Cecilia's newlywed thoughts about what her husband's and mother-in-law's expectations were for her. Now, 26 years later I know better, but back then with a seemingly perfect mother-in-law (she could filet a herring and do so many other things very well) I thought I was a poor substitute. Then I realized I didn't have to be.

I wouldn't have capitalized the word 'church' unless it was part of a specific place name.

This line made me bristle: "I couldn’t have picked a better wife for you!” Did she pick Cecilia for her son?

The rest of the story, however, disarmed me when I realized these two women were already accepting of each other. When Cecilia realized her mother-in-law loved her for who she was, I was content.

You caught the tension of the new bride trying to fit in and be a good wife very well. And the part about Josh's mother bringing homemade cinnamon rolls, starting the coffee, and preheating the oven would have been daunting to any new wife. I remember the feelings. Great job!

Being a newlywed myself what a wonderful story to read. My own family has never accepted my husband in to it, but he family has been so loving and warm to me. I see a reflection of my own dilemmas and struggles. Thank you.