The Official Writing Challenge
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01/11/07
Love it - a wonderful example of how God always supplies our need!
This piece is wonderful... very poetically written and draws one into the character deeply. I can see this piece being a soliloqy (sp?) in a way... a drama by one person... and it would be very moving! Thanks for sharing your words and your heart in this piece.
Blessings,
Lesley-Anne
01/11/07
I love this. I'd be so afraid to attempt a piece like this, but clearly you know how it's done. Thanks for drawing us in to this wonderful story.
01/11/07
Very good interpretation of the scripture. I was captivated to the end. Wonderful.
I especially enjoyed the beginning and ending. Watch your POV shifts. Great story!
Beautifully written story! You really made this familiar Biblical account come alive! I could see and feel this woman's heart and soul. Bravo!
01/15/07
Just breathtaking - I felt like I was right there. This is a story that NEEDED to be told from the widow's point of view, and you have done an amazing job of doing so!
01/15/07
Oh yes, right up my street. Beautifully, poetically written. I loved the POV and the way you took us under the skin of the story.
01/15/07
Beautifully done, Pat--you really gave us a glimpse into this woman's soul. Bravo!
01/15/07
I love how you portray the widow as a woman of faith, yet still with her struggles - just like us. Very well written piece. Congrats.
Excellent piece. This is perhaps my favorite. At least of those I've read.
You made this well-known story come alive. The woman's desperation was vivdly portrayed through your detailed descriptions.
01/16/07
Beautiful and powerful! One little thing - in the 4th paragraph, "bare" should be "bear". Love this story, wonderful writing - such talent!!
01/16/07
I don't know what to say, Pat. I appreciate reading a talented author more than playing a challenging golf course. The artistry demonstrated here is inspiring. Even though I am familiar with story, you brought it to life with a unique and anointed perspective. You are very gifted. Thanks for sharing and caring to bring forth this story so masterfully. God bless.
No question from me as to why you are in masters. This is beautifuly written.
01/16/07
Your first three paragraphs describe the desperate setting very well. Your descriptions are vivid throughout.

There were so many sentences and turns of phrase that were beautiful that I would take up too much room cutting and pasting, but here are some: "She could see fathoms deep into the blue of the sky that day. . .", "Tears disappeared quickly into withered cheeks and wrinkled palms. Sticks fell from her grasp and tumbled to the cracked earth along the city wall. She slid down its support as legs gave way … her soul no longer had the strength to stand.", and "Her shoulders dropped with a sigh too heavy to hold and she turned to face this impossible demand."

I am glad you ended the story where you did. The ending was enough to wrench my heart from my body, and, though I knew the triumph that Scripture says followed her obedience, I still ached with the little boy. Well done!
01/16/07
This is a brilliant portrayal of the 'work in progress' we all are.

The sruggle - the failure, the struggle - the victory.

Yep - that's life as a Christian. Great reality writing here!
01/16/07
Oh No! I thought I was at Christa's entry! (I'm so embarrassed) Sorry!
This is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes, and yet, hope to my heart ;0)
My goodness .. If this is Master's work ( and surely it is!), I better stay in advanced at least another year or two. I was moved deeply by this story and in awe of the writing. Thanks for your entry!
01/16/07
Very good, Pat. You put me in her shoes (uh, sandals). I could imagine the uncertainty- do I listen to this guy? trust him? Yet wanting to hope..
01/16/07
A great piece; very well written. :)
01/17/07
Great work Pat. I do believe you're getting to be a dab hand at the old grammar and punctuation - couldn't find anything to correct :) and I enjoyed the way you threw us into the story and kept us there til the end.
01/17/07
Beautifully written. My favorite line: “Tears disappeared quickly into withered cheeks and wrinkled palms.” My only suggestion would be to change “through out” to throughout. I loved the story—such a wonderful retelling. Indeed, this is masterfully writing.
01/17/07
I love this version of the Elijah story. Never read it from her POV before, very realistic and vivid. The ending is my favorite part-good job and good title!
01/18/07
Whoo HOO!!!! I knew you'd do well but this is terrific!! This is one of your best stories! Congrats!
01/18/07
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! So vivid! So deeply emotional. So well done! Congratulations -- indeed a well-deserved win! :)
Great descriptions. Congratulations!
I am so happy for you and your win. This piece is unique and I celebrate with you.

Blessings,

Lesley-Anne
01/18/07
Congratulations Pat! I know what I'm talking about when I tell you that you are one of the best of the best. Awesome job! God bless.
01/18/07
Pat, this is beautiful. I felt her emotions especially the joy at the end. I love this story and you made it come to life for your readers. Yes, you are a master and I am forever a student.
01/20/07
Absolutely beautiful, Pat. A well-deserved win. Very poetic, smooth, and... beautiful! :)
WOW, Pat!!

I'm finally getting around to read your winning entry & can see why it took 1st place! What a creative take on a much beloved Old Testament story! Excellent job & congrats!
11/19/08
Wow, I truly got goosebumps, and I knew the end of the story before I read it. The way you looked into the woman, not just the situation, made this come alive. And ["But she took no notice. Despair is like that. One cannot see beyond its thick black veil."] is so true! I suffer from major depression and bipolar disorder, and was four years ago in that despair so that I tried to take my life; the tunnel vision that I experienced was just like your description. Isn't it wonderful that when we can't see beyond our weakness, God is so near and our "ever-present help in time of need." (Psalm 46:1)
I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
11/19/08
Wow, I truly got goosebumps, and I knew the end of the story before I read it. The way you looked into the woman, not just the situation, made this come alive. And ["But she took no notice. Despair is like that. One cannot see beyond its thick black veil."] is so true! I suffer from major depression and bipolar disorder, and was four years ago in that despair so that I tried to take my life; the tunnel vision that I experienced was just like your description. Isn't it wonderful that when we can't see beyond our weakness, God is so near and our "ever-present help in time of need." (Psalm 46:1)
I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
This is stunning. What a well-deserved win. Some of your phrases almost wipe me out, no kidding. What a masterful job!