The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/11/07
This is a very sweet story and I enjoyed reading it. I love the comparison between the frustration of the moment with little kids and then seeing the end result in the teenage son.

A couple points tripped me up - one, "Sister" Hansen sounds like a nun, but she is having twins (!), and then when you said they cooked a casserole and cinnamon rolls, I couldn't figure out where the blue frosting came from.

Otherwise, GREAT job!
01/11/07
That 4th paragraph really cracked me up--poor woman! Nice job.
01/11/07
Such a delightful story, you use words like a paint brush and it is easy for your reader to slip right into the picture, too.

I also did a double-take at "Sister Hanson," but caught on right away. I've been part of church fellowships where all the men are "Brother Jim," etc. and the women are "Sister." But, readers unfamiliar with that might find this reference something of a shock :)

The conversation between mother and son is so heartwarming and does a great job pulling the story all together. This one is ready for the publisher in my view!
01/11/07
Awww...what a heartwarming story. I really enjoyed your use of description. What a mess! I'll remember your story when my little ones want to "help" in the kitchen. :-)
01/12/07
So precious, delightful and loving! Great reading that made "Bad Day at Black Rock" and "Fight at OK Corral" sound like soothing bedtime stories. Wow! Ten kids in one kitchen! Double Wow! Good Job and nicely written.
01/13/07
WOW! Makes me feel like an unfit mother--this woman is a BRAVE woman: first, to have 10 children and second, to tackle such a project; I, on the other hand, am one of those mothers who wince when my children want to make a mess with play-dough!
01/15/07
This is a sweet story. Reminds me that I shouldn't take the days for granted with my kids, even though they drive me nuts.
01/17/07
Loved the title, and the dialogue. You definitely made me care about the characters :D
01/17/07
I like how the teenage son brings perspective to what she is doing with the kids. Great job!