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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Cooking or Baking (01/04/07)

TITLE: Cooked Goose Anyone?
By cindy yarger


This is a story about a goose. Not just any goose, mind you, but a young, strong gander. From my point of view this goose is belligerent, excessively noisy, both proud and arrogant, and to top all else, he is a leader. He has his own little flock, just two other geese, but oh so willing they are to mimic his lead and to answer his every beck and call.

My children and myself, to be perfectly honest, are afraid of him. He is to be feared, brave as he is, he also bites and chases all persons except my husband. The latter lets him roam free at times while the rest of us take refuge inside.

My husband purchased these geese as pets. Now mind you in my household we have pets and we have animals. For the most part the difference is in the fact that we do not eat our pets but we do eat some animals.

Clearly I see this goose as an animal, thus viewing him as edible. My husband sees him as a pet, which gives him status as non-edible, non-negotiable, period. The children see him as somewhere in between. They definitely do not want to eat him, but just as adamantly, they do want him dead, or at least gone, with (I think) a leaning more towards dead.

The goose has his own opinion. He, of course, would like to live. His life is grand. He is favored and other geese admire him. As for people, hey, one lets him out every now and again. The others pretty much leave him alone and when they do come at him with a stick in hand, he leaves them alone. Life is life and the alternative in unknown. Ignorance is bliss in the life of a goose.

Do you have any thoughts on what to do to help us out here? We do have a few choices. We could just continue as we are. The problem with that is that we are planning to move. Is it really wise to pack up problems and carry them along to a new place along with everything else?

We could just kill the goose and I could try to disguise him in some sort of dinner. I know the Bible says we are to forgive seventy times seven times but I think that my children would try to make this somehow disqualified or make it count as at least sixty-nine times seven of the times. My daughter did suggest that we could kill the goose, cook it, and then feed it to the dogs. This, I’m sure, is somehow more humane than just letting the dogs have the goose. Maybe we should get an opinion from the goose on that one.

We could just leave the goose here and let the new owners eat him (after all the last owners tried to leave us their pet/meat pig). And, that might warrant some extra thought (after all it almost worked for the last owners). We could also “accidentally” leave the gate open and pray that the goose runs away. Our neighbors are nice though and I’m sure that they would let us know.

There is an auction not too far from us that sells small farm animals. We could cart it off there. Someone else can deliberate on its’ merits as pet versus meal.

Bird flu? Maybe if we wait long enough…..

Anyhow before you make your decision on what I should do, I want you to know the tallied score of those it concerns most. I.E. my family.

Husband – likes geese
Wife (me) – eats geese
Eldest Daughter – likes some geese – not into eating them
Eldest Son – traumatically chased by more than one goose – not into eating them
Youngest Daughter – well you decide –HINT- she gave me the idea to kill the goose, cook it, then feed it to the dogs
Youngest Son – no opinion – he’ll eat anything that tastes good
Goose – “Oh please, please, please, I want to live!!”

So have at it, decide as you choose fit. As for me, I think that no matter what I do, my goose is cooked.

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This article has been read 913 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 01/11/07
That last line made me burst out laughing!

If it were up to me, I'd say eat it, but you're really in a quandary.

Funny, funny story.
Edy T Johnson 01/11/07
What a neat idea, letting your readers select the ending! Since this gander is your husband's pet, I suppose he gets to decide (like, leaving him behind for the next owners rather than kill him?). Besides, goose-meat is so full of tallow-like fat, I have no appetite for it, myself.

You could look at it this way: this gander is as good as a watch dog, protecting his geese (and their eggs for your breakfast?) and chasing off any unwanted trespassers. The new owners could appreciate that :)
Marilyn Schnepp 01/12/07
Hmmmm? I'm thinking. Don't know much about geese. Thought they had wings, but evidently this one does not fly - as you mention leaving the gate open. I think I'd leave the gate open every day until the inevitable happens...like a semi truck barreling down your road ahem....ps: Nice job and interesting, plus enjoyable take on topic. Good Luck!!
Marlene Bonney 01/13/07
I had fun reading this, and enjoyed your humor! The title and ending are superb!
Dave O'Neil01/22/07
Thanks for sharing your dilemna with us. A very enjoyable read. It is one of those reads that ends before you would like it to. I think the carelessly opened gate is the way to go. But the neighbours are probably scared too.