The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/11/07
This almost seemed like two different stories, one with your interpretation of heaven, and one with your passion for baking. I wonder if it'd be more effective with one or the other, and then expanded.

Either way--I'd love to have a friend like you: music and cookies, a winning combination!
01/14/07
The first third of your story was a delightful reverie. I enjoyed it as if I were right beside you. I was a little lost as you changed tenses. I think that you could have enlarged this part to encompass the whole article. Nice job!Keep writing:-)