The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/11/07
This sadly rings true--

Mechanically, you might want to go back through and add commas in much of your dialog, when addressing a specific person. For example...

Spirit of Self Condemnation: You called me master?

...should be

Spirit of Self Condemnation: You called me, master?

Otherwise, it has a different meaning.

Thanks be to God for the ability to overcome!



Great skit. Enjoyed it. Hope there's a part two where the good guys win!
I enjoyed the dialogue and the message is one we all need to be hear frequently. We forget who is behind our temptation in areas of weaknesses.
This could be an up-to-date version of C. S. Lewis's "Screwtape Letters". Get rid of the Internet? Perhaps it would be better to just make use of "parental controls" - they're not only for kids. Those who are tempted or fallen need all the help they can get.
01/14/07
I agree with Dolores. It reminded me of the Screwtape letters. Very well written, with a good ending.