The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/06
I loved this story! Beauiful and vivid descriptions--I felt as though I were there and could see the elderly arthritic saint (angel?), the owlish, harried intern, and the sick children on the ward.
I could especially see the father of the little boy--my favorite description: "disheveled man sprawled like a broken scarecrow."

Wonderful father-son dialogue at the end and closing dialogue between the main character and her boss. Message communicated beautifully through the line about love not being heavy. Great job!
12/14/06
Julie wrote everything I wanted to say, except you moved me to tears. What a precious saint you have described, from beginning to end. You do know how to create memorable characters with just a few key words. This one goes in my favorites, and I will be watching for your name.
12/15/06
Oooh, very good! You've got some great descriptions here.
SO good! The last line is just perfect.
Congratulations! Great story and a deserved 2nd place!
12/21/06
The description of the quietness of the night broken by murmers, coughs and blips was so vivid. Great work. My only suggestion would be to put some spacing between your paragraphs - just makes it easier to read. Loved this story. Good work!