The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/14/06
I had a little problem making the connection between Felix and Mr. Swanson's struggles, but hey, that's just me! I absolutely love the picture that this line creates in my mind: "Felix spoke gently, “You shouldn’t holler and splash in the water like that. It scares the ducks.” Priceless! Very well done.
12/14/06
I loved your title because the story unfolded like a flower as it defined oblivious. very nice job. God bless.
Interesting tension between Felix and Mr. S - both "doing their thing" and yet overlapping. Enjoyed the dialogue!
Unsung heroes indeed! Ha! I got the connection between the two stories literally as I was writing that first sentence of my comment, hee hee! They were both unsung heroes. I loved how you gave us a picture of who Felix was just through his dialog and actions. Well done!
12/19/06
Very nice - I enjoyed reading this piece. I like stories that make me think, and you wrote a great one.
12/19/06
Felix is one of the most endearing characters I've read here at FW. Just marvelous.
12/19/06
There are so many layers to this! So subtle!

One of my favorite parts was Felix standing over Mr. S (breathing) waiting for him to wake up so he could have the silver wrapper.

I don't how you do it!

Mentally challenged Felix making a meager living for himself unaware he saved a child - Mr. S unaware he had a full and rich life.

Wow!

This whisked me away immediately. I wasn't quite sure, at first, what the commonality was between the two men. After thinking about it a minute, though, I think I got it.
Very well done.
12/20/06
A lovely and precious interlude, told in a stirring way. Excellent! Thanks for sharing this
12/20/06
So much depth to this! This is a "read over" story, that I know I will pick up more upon each time. Excellent.
12/20/06
This was such an interesting story and so very well written with many wonderful word choices throughout. Felix is without a doubt an oblivious hero, but we can assume that Mr. Swanson is too. Very nice work.