The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/06
I loved this story! The characters come alive with both descriptions and dialogue, and the message is moving and powerful. I loved the unexpected twist of the daughter's singing radically impacting other patients in the hospital--as well as the exciting and satisfying ending. Great job!
12/18/06
This is a very sweet and tender story--I've heard that patients in comas often do report hearing what is said in the room, so it's very touching.

I have a few quibbles: if the dad is in a coma, how do they know he's depressed and in pain? And I'm a little bit bothered by Dani's continual disobedience. It's not clear how old she is, but if her mother told her to stay home, she should have obeyed her, no matter what her age.

Great ending!