The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/14/06
An awesome tribute to your brother. You say "hit me hard" three times, you could probably change it up some. And I was picturing a little brother until the end. Maybe you could somehow work into the beginning that this is from a girl's view. Other than that, this was well written and a joy to read.
12/15/06
I liked this a lot; it had the quality of a really good movie. I can just see the relationship between the brother and sister developing over the years.
Please develop this story more fully, combing out and adding to, tweaking and burnishing. It is good, but has possibilities of being even better.