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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Pastor (11/30/06)

TITLE: Youth Pastor Wanted (part-time)
By Sally Hanan


Youth Pastor Wanted (part-time)

XYZ church in XYZ city, USA.

We are looking for a youth pastor for our small but dynamic group of high school kids.

A degree is not absolutely necessary, but you must have gone through enough life experiences to know humility and love for others. A carpentry class or two would come in handy.

It would help you to have seen miracles and healing, as the feeding of the five thousand is sometimes necessary, as is calming the stormy seas. You don’t need to be able to walk on water, as we have no levees in XYZ town, but we do have a connection with the QRS church in Louisiana if you’d like to keep your skills sharpened.

We are very open to the Holy Spirit, and you must have no problems whatsoever with His work and leading, regardless of how stupid He may ask you to look at times. This will include going out with street teams to public places to give prophetic words, pray for the sick and deliver the captives. Think “Legion”.

Age & marital status:
We would prefer a married man for this position in his early thirties, but no older than 40. Your wife must be willing to work in conjunction with you and your ministry, many times working alongside you or in your place. She must be ok with you not talking to her sometimes when she needs your help or thinks you’ve gone crazy, because you have to do what God wants first, and what the chief squaw wants second. She must also be able to keep these things in her heart and not vent about them to her ladies’ group.

Attitude to authority:
You must be completely centered in God alone, and only be obedient to His voice and not the whims of man; that said, you must be humble and loving towards those in leadership over you, even if you think they are hypocritical, religious, whitewashed sepulchers.

You must be thankful for the elders’ insight, experience and input. You will not be a lone ranger, and daily three hour meetings will begin at dawn with the senior pastor – listening, worshiping, reading the Word and interceding.

Just so you know, we prefer to work in twos also, but three can be an even more effective number. Your youth leadership team will not be your slaves but your friends, and expect to be treated as such.

Teaching skills:
You must have a great sense of humor, and be able to inject comedy and dynamic content into all of your teaching moments. Creativity and media related skills are essential, along with the ability to weave parables into your key points.

You cannot be boring when teaching, or consumed with caring about who is listening to you, yet spiritual authority is very welcome. Our goal is to produce world-changers, and we want the youth to be so enraptured with your character and anointing that they drop everything they usually do each day outside of school to follow your lead.

Character qualities:
We want you to have a good rapport with those who usually live on the fringes of society – the drug addicts, the gender confused kids, the alcoholics, the rebellious. You must have a deep abiding love for them that flows naturally. We would prefer someone with all of the following qualities:

This position is part-time, and salary is below average poverty level income. There are no financial perks to the job either. If you have that carpentry experience, we have a few jobs at the church we’d like to put on your honey-do list.

In summary:
Finally, please do not apply for this job unless God specifically tells you to do so. We are not interested in wannabes looking for a new place to make a name for themselves. We’ve already had some guy pass through who gave us a word that you’re on your way. He was a bit wild looking … I hope you can dress to a more culturally accepted standard as we are a seeker-sensitive church.

We’re really looking for a perfect pastor, but that’s not practical or realistic, especially because the good ones usually only last for three years, and we hope to have you lead us for much longer than that!

We trust you’ll rise to the challenge.

Elders of XYZ Church,
Billy, Bob, Brian, Bert

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This article has been read 1253 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jesus Puppy 12/09/06
Quite the qualifications list. Leaves me out though as I am over 40 and still single.. Do have those carpentry skills though.. ;)

A very good read. (But a tough job to fill.)
Joanne Sher 12/09/06
Wow - what a job description! Definitely made me think about the work those youth pastors put in. I loved how you opened and closed with the carpentry angle. Very readable.
Debbie OConnor12/11/06
Very funny, and close to the truth. Zing!
Cheri Hardaway 12/11/06
Could be a sequel to the poem at the top of this topic's list - The Perfect Pastor. Point well-taken. We often expect pastor's to be super human. Blessings, Cheri
Betty Castleberry12/11/06
"She must also be able to keep these things in her heart and not vent about them to her ladies’ group."
This line gave me a chuckle. I liked this piece. It is well written and contains a lot of truth. Nicely done.
Donna Powers 12/11/06
You told the truth in a humorous way. I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for sharing it.
Sharlyn Guthrie12/11/06
I'll share this one with my son, the youth pastor...not sure if it will make him laugh or cry! I enjoyed your humor.
Kevin Kindrick12/12/06
Loved the story...but I've just gotta ask, did you deliberately leave patient out of your list of fruits of the Spirit?

Thanks, and God bless,

Catrina Bradley 12/13/06
You put a smile on my face today - loved this ad. The person who fills this position must be called by God and Spirit-driven indeed!! Very well written.
Shanti Singh12/13/06
I love this job description! It's amazing how much we expect of pastors, huh?
Jacqueline Zerres12/14/06
Are you sure this shouldn't have been entered under martyr? Congratulations on the win!