If she closed her eyes, she would remember, so the answer was to keep her eyes open. But regardless whether her eyes were open or closed, the images still flashed across her mind, unbidden and uninvited…
“William! I’ve missed you!”
“I missed you too? Are you ready?”
“Yep – just to got to be back here on Sunday evening because I have a test I need to study for.”
William and she chatted all the way to his home-town where he just taken on the senior pastoral role. So young, and so filled with promise, she was proud of him. How many other 28 year olds got to be voted on as senior pastor?
The weekend flew by –with many visits to members of the congregation. She loved to hear William introduce her. “This is my fiancée.” Congratulations flowed and she looked up at him, all 6’ 3” of him and was totally in love. At the end of each day William drove her back to Jones’s house where she was staying, and then drove onto his own place.
After a sumptuous lunch provided by the Jones’s on Sunday afternoon, she packed her bags and William loaded them in the car. “We have to make a quick stop at my house on the way to the highway. OK?”
He pulled into his driveway and invited her in – how many times had she been there before? Countless times. Unthinkingly she followed him into his parlour. “Where’s your brother?” she asked.
Spinning around, William grabbed her shoulders and forced her to the couch. “He’s out for the afternoon.”
“William – you’re hurting me, let me go.”
“If you loved me…”
“What do you mean, of course I love you. Let me go.”
She struggled in vain against his 200lbs body as he forced himself on and then in her. In that moment he stole more than her virginity – something she would gladly have given him after the ‘I Do’s’.
All the while she struggled, she screamed, but there was no one to hear. She beat ineffectually against his heaving, moving chest. He grasped her fists in one meaty paw, laughing down at her petrified face, telling her to shut up, that she had been looking for it, and if she wanted to be a pastor’s wife she’d better learn submission and obedience. She shut her mind to all around her, willing him to get off her, to be done; just so she could run away.
“See – all done now.” William calmly stood up, pulled up his pants and casually buckled his belt. “Ready to go back to College now?”
Uncomprehendingly she looked up at him; covering her bruised and sore body from his sight. “I’m never going anywhere with you ever again.” She announced dully.
“Suit yourself. I can tell you aren’t pastor’s wife material after all. It’s all your fault. Why couldn’t you be more compliant? If you’d given in before I would never have done this.”
She couldn’t believe he was blaming her! Slowly she got to her feet, pulling together all the dignity she could muster. “I’ll find my own ride home.”
The images wound and rewound in her mind like a video, but there was no pause button, just a repeat. Who could she tell? Who would understand? He was the pastor for heaven’s sake; she was just a kid from a small town.
Anger and bile mingled in her mouth. How dare he? How dare he steal so much from her? Rage boiled over and scalded her heart. “If he as a pastor can’t wait until marriage, why should I?”
Satan laughed as he slowly wound in his line – he had her now, hook, line and sinker.
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