The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/06
Nicely done. I like the twist at the end.
12/09/06
I loved this story--from its title all the way to its unexpected ending. The family really came alive for me through their dialogue and the descriptions of specific details. I felt as though I were there, feeling Jimmy's antagonism (I could relate to that because I felt the same way about church as a child), seeing the cute little sisters, and even tasting those chocolate chip muffins! Great job!
12/10/06
I guessed right away who Jimmy was (I read a similar situation once, with a principal), but that didn't detract from the delight of this piece. Every character was fully developed and real, and your writing has a light, pleasant touch.
12/11/06
You had me fooled. Having raised two sons and two daughters, your description of Jimmy matched my sons perfectly! So I was surprised to see Jimmy was the pastor! A fun twist. Blessings, Cheri
12/11/06
The twist really got me! I had to re-read it a second time knowing the end. writing. I love your characters. Very well done - excellent.
12/12/06
I definitely did NOT see the twist coming! Great description and detail.
12/12/06
I was clueless as welll; never saw it comin'. Wonderful character development and storyline. Loved it.
12/12/06
Clever! I didn't see it coming either.