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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Pastor (11/30/06)

TITLE: Convicted
By Laurie Glass
12/03/06


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They look to me for guidance, leading, care,
And trust me with their struggles and concerns.
Flock asks for counsel, comforting and prayer,
Approach me frequently so they may learn.

I stand uneasy on this pedestal,
And sense the weight, responsibility.
Iím always stressed, my plate is always full,
And yet admit thatís not what bothers me.

At times, feel so convicted when I preach
About the secret that I hold within.
Iím struggling to live the truths I teach
And feel weighed down by my besetting sin.

Convey I fall, that I am just like them,
Can tell they see it as humility.
That isnít it, for they donít see me when
The conflict, turbulence erupts from me.

Although I say my family comes first,
Iím in their presence when I break, I snap.
My wife and kids receiving all the worstÖ
Fall victim to a shove, a kick, a slap.

Afraid that theyíll expose our secret life,
And yet the treatment that they get from me,
My children donít deserve, nor does my wife.
This isnít how their lives were meant to be.

I promise not to lose control again
And when it seems that Iíve earned back their trust,
Soul boils, pressure rises up within,
And theyíre recipients of temperís thrust.

Their fearful looks burn deep into my mind,
My guilt seems sometimes more than I can bear.
All know me here, makes treatment hard to find.
To those I love, incredibly unfair.

Community would be in shock, I knowÖ
Our churchís testimony would be marred.
To all, this news would come as such a blow.
I want to do whatís right, itís just so hard.

Parishioners are easy to deceive,
And would be devastated if they knew.
Afraid that it would shake what they believe.
I need some help, but donít know what to do.

So many times Iíve almost given in,
Convicted by the Holy Spiritís voice
That I confess to elders, secret sin,
But still, Iíve not obeyed and made that choice.

God loves me, wants the best for evíryone.
Sees all, from Him I know I cannot hide.
Itís time to talk, for something must be done
To heal the pain, the rage, that reigns inside.


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This article has been read 825 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 12/08/06
Oh my, this is powerful, and I love your poetic language--No forced rhymes, great meter, and it doesn't read a bit like prose...very well done.
william price12/09/06
So this is how it is done. Excellent!!! It flowed to perfection and ministered to my heart. I'm very impressed. God bless.
Beth Muehlhausen12/11/06
Honesty spoken through the cry of a heart of desire - very powerful. How perfect that you ended with a plea for healing and the realization that transparency before others will begin that process. Very nicely done - deep and penetrating.
Cheri Hardaway 12/13/06
I so love your last stanza. I might have titled it The Rage that Reigns Inside. Wow! Deep and awesome. I am not a poetry writer, but clearly you are! Good work, and the only piece I've seen so far on this kind of hidden sin. Blessings, Cheri
CeCe Lane12/13/06
I liked it. It reminds that my Pastor is only human and does fail at times. Thank you.
Catrina Bradley 12/13/06
Heartbreaking. It took me a couple of verses to get into the poetry, but once I did I was hooked. I feel so sorry for your MC, but I don't like him! You certainly stirred my emotions with your writing. Well done.
Catrina Bradley 12/13/06
I wanted to add to my comment - about not getting into the poetry - that's because of me not being used to reading poetry! FW is changing that. :) I enjoyed reading this beautiful poem.
Valora Otis12/14/06
This gives new meaning to keeping your eye on Christ, and not on man. Thank you for this honest insight into a life who needs and in the end, wants help. I pray it ministers to those who are hurting their families out there. Christ died for our sins, I pray that they can be repentant and turn the tide of this horrible grievous sin. Bless you for having the courage to write this article, Laurie!
Linda Watson Owen12/28/06
Laurie, you've really reached a true balance of harsh reality in theme and still maintained poetic beauty. Very well done!