The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1124 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/08/06
The wisdom of a little child--this is a fun story to read. The "we" in the first paragraph is a 1st person pronoun, but the rest of the story is 3rd person. Consider changing it to "the congregation" or some such phrase.

I liked this a great deal.
12/09/06
I really enjoyed this story! I was drawn in by the unusual title and then delighted by the message.

Great dialogue! The characters really come to life.

I noticed one complete sentence used as a dialogue tag, following the comma after a quote. This sentence would work better by itself, separated from the dialogue.

Am curious about how this story's sequel will turn out. Hope it gets entered!
12/09/06
I too really enjoyed the story and the child character. I did have a lil trouble following the POV in the story. And the word "good" to describe weather was a little weak in the opening sentence. And thats being very picky. But, as far as story telling goes and allowing the reader to participate, it was superb. Keep up the good work. God bless.
12/11/06
The title brought me in, the dialog and description and especially the pace kept me glued to the page, I can see this is to be continued. Good job.