The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/06
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. We can forget what is really important, when we don't volunteer or give of ourselves to others. This story drew me in and pulled at my heart. Thank you for involving your readers in Bruce's journey back.
12/01/06
Awesome story! Very real job with the characters.
Pat Guy  
12/01/06
I loved the trasition of Bruce - the build up (or tear down) of his character and the format - it works well and makes for a good read. I LOVED the ending - had me really wondering there because I didn't guess, and I soooooo wanted something to work out. :) Loved it!
12/01/06
"Something wet escaped his eye."

What a perfect way of describing the awakening of feeling!
12/02/06
Great job as we followed Bruce's journey and his transition from hard-core business man to a feeling and compassionate individual.
12/03/06
You did an exceptional job of describing Bruce's gradual transformation. It was so believable and engaging. So much going on here, and you made me care about all of it! Excellent.
12/04/06
Cocoon - the silky covering in which a volunteer-to-be encloses itself during its transition to a volunteer.
Excellent job in describing the process. And written masterfully as well. God bless.
12/04/06
I love the use of the journal to share the changing feelings going on in the main character. Very nice job! Blessings, Cheri
12/04/06
Very nice and very sweet. So glad she was Johno's sister. I'd love to see chapter two. Thanks for sharing this
12/07/06
Great story! One small thing I'd change. "she" and I...not her and I; otherwise I loved it! Entertaining and a truly enjoyable read.
12/11/06
Surprise, suprise! I loved this story, too. Such an excruciating journey encapsulated in just a few words with the promise of a really happy ending. :-)