The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/06
Excellent story! I loved the imagery in this one--my favorite descriptions were "hair the color of orange sherbet," "patchwork colored cat," "white cotton hair," and especially "screaming thighs." That one sounds totally original, and I could feel the pain of it!

Might like to see the story open with a specific decription of Lynda's shoes beside her bed, or something else to do with walking that would tie in later on.

I really liked the twist of the dog walking program's volunteer coordinator knowing who Lynda was and already caring about her!
11/30/06
Your description of the absolute physical weariness of depression was spot on, and I love so many of your touches--the sherbet-colored hair and matching cat, the snippet of dialog about promising to return the dog...and I loved the little twist at the end, when the elderly woman turned out to also be a volunteer. Just so many lovely touches here. Very tender and touching.
12/02/06
Good visuals. This story, as helping others, leaves one with a good feeling throughout. Keep writing.
12/04/06
Great "on topic" story - Volunteer meets Volunteer. Nicely done.
12/04/06
Great twist - and I love your description. I definitely enjoyed this piece!
12/04/06
Wow! This is some good writing. This is a fantastic piece! It's a blessing to read with layers of messages. Kudos Jen - you nailed this one good! ;)
12/05/06
Very smartly done. The layering of different volunteer stories was awesome. It held my attention and didn't disappoint. Thoroughly enjoyable.
12/05/06
Very, very nice. This is touching and heartwarming. Well done. Thanks for sharing this.